Love: Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced...

By EpicMayonnaise - 26/08/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 413

You deserved it 3 666

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/10/2015 04:43 - Canada - Qualicum Beach

Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 415

You deserved it 2 734

By poorclubgoer - 14/11/2009 10:11 - United States

Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 690

You deserved it 5 920

The Lady in Red

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 01:36 - United States

Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walked up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then said, "Could you hold me my drink?" and went to dance with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 196

You deserved it 3 915

By I Tried - 29/01/2016 22:18 - United States - Burton

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 448

You deserved it 3 639

Don't even try

By divingconfidence - 22/12/2012 11:21 - United States - Maple Grove

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 713

You deserved it 4 786

Misleading

By KL. - 05/06/2009 19:46 - Canada

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 494

You deserved it 5 013

By IcantDance! - 01/10/2012 16:05 - United States - Daphne

Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 340

You deserved it 2 729

By cakestar9 - 31/12/2014 19:39 - Ireland - Ennis

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 501

You deserved it 3 554

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 187

You deserved it 21 604

By Anonymous - 12/07/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 948

You deserved it 16 360

slushpup9696 12

Friday 26 August 2011 12:00

Maybe that's his name, and he'll be posting an FML soon about a girl who refused to dance with him because of his name.

slushpup9696 12

Friday 26 August 2011 12:04

Yeah. I hate my name, Hospital Ceiling. Everyone makes fun of me and turns me down at dances.

Comments

tygerarmy 35

Friday 26 August 2011 16:52

If you don't like bird dog and you still wanted to dance or meet guys you could try going over and talking to them.

msbrendabella 10

Friday 26 August 2011 17:04

He wrote am fml....he said a girl wouldn't dance with him because his name is birddog then he thanked his mom and dad....u should feel bad u bitch!

SorrowFull 8

Friday 26 August 2011 17:16

He could have always said, "It was my turn to jump on the grenade"

TheLastChild 8

Friday 26 August 2011 17:42

At least he didn't introduce you to Bird Dog junior!

duckman9 55

Friday 26 August 2011 21:48

have patience little grasshopper... time will reveal everything!

crushedone 7

Friday 26 August 2011 17:43

See if I EVER ask you to dance again!!

manjot21sandhu 0

Friday 26 August 2011 18:03

so did ya dance with him?

fishing12345 2

Friday 26 August 2011 18:11

Sounds like his parents were crazy, hey maybe he's like ponyboy and sodapop from the outsiders

BuffaloSabres134 8

Friday 26 August 2011 18:38

Must be one of those gangsters

TheBigFailer 0

Friday 26 August 2011 18:42

Hi. my names crazy alcohol rainbow pig, wanna dance o.O

ikickgingers 15

Friday 26 August 2011 20:59

Bahaha

sleepyone76 0

Friday 26 August 2011 19:01

Unbelievable lol

Keywords

Work Management Love Jealousy Relationship advice Mental health Relatable Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Food Ironic Birthday Family Money Gifts Mother in law Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 961

You deserved it 12 658

Today, I broke a world record on third-wheeling with my friend and his girlfriend. As we were driving back from the beach, I took a nap and woke up to my friend receiving head in the front seat. They knew I was awake, but they continued and finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 702

You deserved it 1 016

The Top

Today, for an eight-hour flight to Copenhagen, Denmark, I paid extra to get a seat offering more leg room. Unfortunately, the man behind me was so tall, his knees were pressing against my back the entire flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 978

You deserved it 3 704

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 324

You deserved it 2 000

Today, my new online college class about Asian and Pacific American studies is teaching us how to write mini essays, not how to include Asian and Pacific Americans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 450

Today, I came back home from a 3-month trip to see my boyfriend and his family. Leaving them was obviously very emotional, and to top it off as soon as I got home, I realized I'd left my antidepressants behind, and I now have the flu as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 139

Today, it's been 1 month since I've accepted that I'm gay, 1 week since telling my strict, southern baptist, bible-thumping parents, 1 day since my mom stopped crying and my dad finally spoke to me, and 1 hour since discovering that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 847

You deserved it 2 077

Today, my younger brother sat on some poison ivy. He didn't have any symptoms because he's pretty much immune to it. Also today, my boyfriend had to run to the ER because he got poison ivy on his genitalia. I knew they spent way too much time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 240

You deserved it 344

Same thing different taste

The Lady in Red

Don't even try

Misleading

Top comments

Comments