Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML
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Top comments
Calivale 7
Aww your mom loves you, to the extent of ruining your social life.
niamah 11
Mom is lonely. Tell dad to start taking her out again
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Comments (247)
sps50 0
That's so sweet but so hilarious I was laughing for 2 minutes before I could type this comment
sgtbaker 0
I would've bitch slap my mom if she did that
taurus30 0
Are you 12?
0gypsy0soul0 13
Next time she tries to hold someones hand, scream and push them apart. Then maybe she'll understand how embarrassing it is.
Gouryella 0
Id have knocked her the **** out! No offence of course....
Candygirl720 6
Does your mom want grandkids? Cuz is she duz she needs to back off for real tho
foreveralone04 2
Parents -1 you -0
SpideyFan14 4
this is freaking hilarious !
Envy1798 2
That is so sad... FYL
Ugi 27
At the age of 11 you shouldn't be out on your own anyway!