Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML
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Top comments
Calivale 7
Aww your mom loves you, to the extent of ruining your social life.
niamah 11
Mom is lonely. Tell dad to start taking her out again
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Comments (247)
briaa23 4
if i were you i would wait til the next time my mom goes out on a date follow her and if the dude tries anything step out and be like " don't even try. not on the first date. or ill have to ground you" just embarass her
elementalz 2
I wulda slapped her and been like down bitch down what have I told you about doing that
HunterAlpha1 8
you're lucky you're even allowed to date or even think about dating. i grew up in a homeschool/ATI family(look up Bill Gothard), and my mom was so full of BGBS(Bill Gothard BullShit) that she expected me to not even think about girls or sex at all, that we would have courtship(with, obviously, a girl she chose), with no holding hands or any touching at all, and after courting for like five or ten years, i would marry(again, a girl she chose) when i'm like 40, a woman i had never touched and had no way of telling if we were even chemically compatible(you can tell alot by just holding hands). i dodged the bullet there, though. now i'm fat, lazy, unemployed, living at my grandparen'ts home, and the kind of girl who's father my mom would want him to let me marry his daughter wouldn't even look at me as a prospective husband for his daughter. so now the only girl i'm likely to attract is some **** who doesn't care if i don't wear a suit and tie all the time and if every other word out of my mouth isn't "praise the lord!" or "thank you jesus!", and who doesn't mind me drinking a jack & coke with dinner and doesn't mind me saying "crap" and "shit", etc..
IPoopedOnU 12
Awww she loves u enough to slap ur date
Dante17 6
I'd answer, "u got ur boy, pay attention to him rather than me, no jealousy woman"
muffinbuttman 0
Did she ninja karate chop his hand XD
rcyadig 0
How old are like 5? If not that Sucks
live_2_eat 5
Seriously? If this has happpened multiple times I'd have a VERY serious chat with your mum... failing that, slap her back and see how she likes it!!!
_words_of_wisdom 4
every time your parents try to kiss or hug or hold hands or. . . well. . . you know. . . jump in and slap them and say "NO!"
conholio33 28
So sorry, hey its nice she loves u but thats going to far