Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML
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Top comments
lelo_lala 0
You deserve it, you drove drunk, and put a girl in a neck brace, I hope you never get laid.
eric237 0
this fml makes you sound like a rapist
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Comments (180)
aHottMess 0
I was going to say your an idiot for driving drunk but apparently everyone took care of that for me! Make better decisions or dont drink. And maybe you shouldnt be so aggresive with your lady friends.
JN226 0
were u drving drunk? loser
aka_bruce 0
a lil too rough? And shame on you for driving drunk
bara_fml 0
you went out with a girl you "loved"... and got trashed... put the girl you allegedly loved in a car and drove her around while putting her in danger... because you where trashed... then hurt her anyway by acting stupid... because you were trashed... love? really? LOVE? you don't even care enough about yourself clearly for getting into that car in the state you were in... pathetic. f*ck your life indeed.
DCS1138 0
Crippled chicks are hot.
OriannaKnight 0
That's sort of what you get for driving drunk... never mind trying to be suave!!! When you're drunk you're not suave, you're just a drunken irritant. (generalization of course, some folks can manage to just get buzzed and still be suave, no one is a safe driver while buzzed!!!)
Katlynnnn 0
Ooooh, that's bad.
eighthnote86 0
Agree with #3 and dude...don't you know the rule....don't ever get MORE DRUNK than the girl...moron
Luncho 0
Could have been worse... your drunk driving could have put her in a full body brace and paralyzed her for life... or killed her...
tibbydibby 0
You could have killed her, what were you thinking? :O