By bigdaddy - 16/07/2009 03:53 - United States

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year old son decided to ask aloud "What's Chew and Screw?". FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 222
You deserved it 66 554

Same thing different taste

Top comments

heyyou1203 0

YDI for even thinking about "chewing and screwing!" you do realize that the waitress busts her ass to serve pricks like you and that her entire income is from your tip, right? waitresses get paid like, $2 and hour. I HATES people like you when i waitressed, who thought they were entitled to everything but didn't have to pay.

When around kids, never say anything that you don't want repeating!!! Learn for next time


When around kids, never say anything that you don't want repeating!!! Learn for next time

ik we do like say we my little cousin is a age too get him said "kids under 5 are free" my little cousin is 7 XD

jasmine1259 2

isn't it called dine and dash?

I thought it was dine and dash as well but thinking about it for a while, the OP says "extended family" and so I thought that he and his brother were gonna leave the extended family with the bill. Therefore, all you angry people, the waitress would still get paid - itt's screwing the family, not the restaurant. i think.

isolate7690 1
BoWZeR 1
hahafylop 4

oh my god I thought the wrong meaning at first....

miniluda12 12

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still care about the waitress that you probably don't even know more than the family that you had for your whole life????

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golden333 0

Obviously his son overheard him.

fudgerz 0

wow YDI for being so immature.. And if you're old enough to have a 5-year old son it's even more pathetic. Grow up, stealing is wrong.

little_mermaid_fml 0

wait so, just to be clear, chew & screw is a dine & dash, right? ..well if this is a 'nice restaurant' and it's 'expensive'.. chances are your asses would've been caught anyways soo.

heyyou1203 0

YDI for even thinking about "chewing and screwing!" you do realize that the waitress busts her ass to serve pricks like you and that her entire income is from your tip, right? waitresses get paid like, $2 and hour. I HATES people like you when i waitressed, who thought they were entitled to everything but didn't have to pay.

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Battledog5006 0

Why does everyone use the FML's comments as an area to argue over idiotic things??

Because someone is WRONG on the Internet!

Sunflowerkiss89 0

Unless it is a 'non-tip' restaurant, they only get like 2 dollars or maybe a bit more an hour, they work for tips. That's why when I needed a job to get through college I went to a 'no tip' so that i get a bit over min wage but i don't have to deeal with assholes who don't tip.

min wage is like £3 something over here :S

@ 10: Actually, most of them aren't idiotic. We get some great debates on this site about interesting topics. Just makes the comments thread more interesting, so that we get comments that aren't one of: - "YDI for (insert dumb reason)" - "(Some correction of grammar/spelling)" - "Dang you should kill that bitch" @31: For over-18s it's something like £5.30, and for 16-18 it's just over £4

Don't know how it is in the US, but in Ontario, there is a second minimum wage for waiters/bartenders or other professions that typically get tips. It's quite a bit lower, so tips are definitely their main source of income.

yes in this country it is divineinstrument, in some places in america and abroad in spain people literally work on their tips, some dont even get paid a wage at all.

Actually I'm a waitress and I get £6 an hour, which is like $10.

In the States, servers are paid approximately $2 and some change per hour. The idea is that the tips will bring their income to an average that reaches minimum wage/hour. If the OP were joking and her kid repeated what she said I'd have sympathy, but I see no mention of humor.

I think minimum wage for a tip job was raised to $3 or so wasn't it? I know regular min wage was boosted to 7.25 or so.

noName123456 0

# 44 it all depends on were you live

prttyyngthng 0

In CA (or at least the part of CA I live in) waiters and waitresses get paid our state minimum wage, $8.00 p/h, as well as their tips. And I do NOT see how it's possible for anyone to make anything less than $5.15 since that's the federal minimum wage in the States...

First off, I'm going to say that I do tip. I just want somebody to clarify something for me. I was under the impression that waitresses do make around $2.00 on top of tips, but if they don't make enough in tips for it to average out to min. wage, payroll had to make up the difference. So waitresses are at least guranteed min. wage regardless of the tips.

z3r0ram 0

bigwhitewalls 0

wow you're a jerk. you don't realize how little waiters and waitresses get paid. you're really ignorant. if it wasn't for tips, waiters/waitresses wouldn't get enough money to..well, buy much, pay rent..or anything.

saluda 0

Here in MA waitresses don't make minimum wage. They make like $3 dollars an hour, but their employer is obligated to make up the difference if they get tipped to less than minimum wage. Considering the amount of work they do they in no way deserve to be paid the same minimum wage as someone in Dunkin Donuts, where the tips are optional.

LOL Fail " waitress busts her ass to serve pricks like you and that her entire income is from your tip, right? waitresses get paid like, $2 and hour." Which is it? Entire income from tips or get paid hourly plus tips?!?!?

Should my students tip me when I teach them classes in University? Because I also bust my ass working for them...

samhat 0

Actally minimun wage for a server is only 2.85. most of that gets taken out of their check for taxes, making tips their sole income. if they bust their asses serving people, gettign them everything they need for an hour, and making sure they are happy, they deserve the tip. 15-20%. we are servers, not servants. ydi.

iceis 0

I hate people who just assume tipping is necessary. Where I live, servers get paid at LEAST minimum (but usually over), which is $9-something, as a base rate. I work in a hospital serving meals to patients, do I get tipped? No! And I serve 100's of people an hour, and still manage to be polite and helpful to all of them - no tip. (I make about $15/hr, but I have friends who make $10 base rate + tips and get paid WAY more than me). If a server isn't friendly or helpful or attentive, there's no way I'd ever tip them. If they're super busy and they at least TRY to fill up our water glasses with a smile, then sure, I'll tip. But at least where I'm from, tipping isn't necessary at all (although most people seem to think it is). And most servers make way more than any other job with an equivalent work-load. People around the world just assume that servers are always getting screwed, because in some select areas, they are (as some of you have stated). But where I live, they're better off than me, why should I add to their ridiculous tip-out at the end of the day? But, to the OP, YDI. Thief.

wait since when is it called chew and screw? i always thought it was dine and dash, i find that more catchy, does that explain it 84? its when u eat and dont pay and run like hell. it is a dickish move tho

Hey why don't you become a waiter/waitress for a week and do not accept tips, and see how much money you make?

#86 Oh poor baby im sorry that you work at a hospital serving sickly people and dont get their money, i feel more for you than the ones dying of cancer :(

"Should my students tip me when I teach them classes in University? Because I also bust my ass working for them..." No, because you're making far more than minimum wage and can easily live off your salary.

Darling_Cherry 5

You get that much because you live in the UK...the US doesn't have that type of deal here.

Darling_Cherry 5

Dude, you work in a hospital and you expect people to tip you on what's probably the worst day of their lives? What the hell is wrong with you? The least of my concerns when I'm dying of cancer is going to be tipping the asshole who just served me a meal that is blander than ****.

@57 While technically payroll is supposed to cover if you don't make enough in tips to hit minimum wage, I'm not really sure that happens...I worked at a restaurant where when we added up our hours at the end of every 2 weeks, we were given a number to multiply our hours by to report as our tip amount, so it looked like we were making minimum wage regardless of whether you actually were, or making more or less.

my mom is a waitress and she makes 2 dollars an hour.

Maybe if they didn't have to pay $500 for books when they only get $50 when they return them.

# 77 - you make more than 2 dollars an hour, dumbass

#86 - you're right. but people should know where they live and what the law is. most places waitresses don't get anywhere near minimum wage, and my minimum wage isn't near 9 dollars either. so uhh.. i'm pretty sure these people are talking about how you should tip someone who DOESN'T make minimum wage... which makes sense. think about it.

#77, no you should not be tipped because you are making more than $2 an hour. Waitresses are allowed to be paid less than minimum wage because it is expected that they will get money from TIPS, asshole.

well unlike waitresses, being a teacher requires that you go to college. he earned that extra money. and your not completely right about teachers being able to easily live off their salaries. teachers dont get paid a lot. and they certainly dont get paid enough to put up with a lot of the crap most teachers have to. i know students. i am a student. however you are right. they dont deserve tips. they deserve more money all together. but waitresses dont deserve tips either. they also deserve more money all together. but so does everyone. you can never have too much money. and almost always not have enough. but i digress. not all waiters/waitresses deserve tips. tips must be earned. not all waiters/waitresses bust their ass. some barely try at all, and still get tipped because people are under the impression that you HAVE to tip them.

77 said s/he works at a university. Professors make quite a lot of money, so that whole rant about teachers not making enough and how they ought to make more, while correct, was completely not applicable here. Nice try, though...

good job! you read half of what i said.

Some waitresses absolutely DO get 2 dollars an hour. I am a waitress at TGI Fridays and I make 2.15 an hour. Everything else I have to get from tips, and most of the time I do not make minimium wage. And my employer does not make up for it. If you don't want to tip, go to McDonalds. That's part of dining out and it is not *just because* If we did make minimum wage I would agree with you, but maybe you should actually learn the facts.

well i did say that waiters/waitresses should just make more money. didnt i say that? yes. yes i did. maybe you should read everything and not just what makes you happy, if you want to argue with me.

i have no problem with tipping. but only if you work for it and deserve the tip. but do you know whose fault all this really is? your boss. why should we pay part of your check just because your boss wants to pay you less than minimal wage? its not up to the people eating to give you your paychecks. some argue that tips give waiters/waitresses extra incentive to work harder. but again, why should we pay you to be good at your jobs. your boss should pay you. a better incentive would be to fire people for not doing their jobs. that would work just as well. but again, thats up to the boss. i give tips. i always do. i just give people that earn it bigger tips than those that **** around and dont do their jobs.

heyyou1203 0

When I was a waitress I got $2 and change per hour. This is hardly enough to live on, so hence "my entire income is from tips." very often, if I made a lot of tips for the week, my paycheck would just say NULL and I would literally get nothing because it was all taken out in taxes. in many countries, like where i'm living now, waiters do get paid a decent hourly wage so tipping isn't necessary. However, the service sucks and I have to wait 30 min for a coffee because the waiter has no incentive to be nice to me.

Maryland laws say that the business is required to make up the tips if they do not reach minimum wage.

azhein 0

#8 you have no clue what your talking about people who get tips normallyake like 2 an hour but they claim tips so they still count as getting minimum wage

Okay okay just stop. Everyone's an idiot; just accept that and move on with your life.

hey dumb prick I'm a server (waiter) i get paid 4.75 per hour and has because i just got a .50 cent raise. We depend on tips without them we couldn't afford our bills or anything stop being a greedy selfish **** and tip your 20% p.s go to church and realize we are only here to help one another out. everything you have God gave to you. why not share your blessings.

peoplearestupid7 1

i am a waitress and I make about $3.60 an hour and get tips on top of that. you obviously have never been a server and therefore have no idea what you're talking about. do everyone a favor and just order carryout instead

If he's teaching at a University he makes loads of money.. More than a waitress.. I know about college student loans and how he earned his salary, but on top of his huge salary he wants MORE?!? Waitresses make 2$/hour so obviously if they bust their asses they deserve a tip. But the College Professer doesnt need more. That's what's wrong with our society. Greed. Wouldn't it be better to balance out everyones salaries? The world would have a lot less problems, crimes, and deaths. Stop being greeding. Excuse my rant...

Agreed with 181. Also, most servers do not have to claim tips on their taxes because the majority of restaurants will do it for them. When I worked at a restaurant as a busboy, we had the option of taking a 2$ an hour deduction off of minimum wage in order to avoid having to calculate our actual tip profits in tax season. To my understanding, that's the whole reason a servers hourly wage is less, to help them during tax season. In Nevada, waiters have a 4$ an hour deduction (brings it to roughly 3$ an hour wages) Basically, as long as you were making 4$ in tips an hour (which is easy) you were making at least minimum wage. For everyone claiming that making minimum wage is hard when your a server, either your company is unpopular or unfamiliar with wage laws. Lastly, for the record, busboys work way harder than servers for less than half the tips.

dragonstrike94 8

8 Not true waiters and waitresses are in the Jove zone that allows people to ignore minimum wage

colton_colton 49

I've never even been a waiter and hate that because if someone is gonna take the time to help you out they deserve respect and to be paid!!

If working as a waitress is such shit then quit.. Honestly stop complaining there are plenty of other jobs out there you just have to look.

No one makes $2 an hour. Minimum wage in my state is like $8.50 or $9.its illegal to pay less.

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Seti_fml 0

there is [almost] never any excuse for dining and dashing not matter how bad the service is. If you hate the service talk to a manager, give a worse tip than you normally would, but do NOT dine and dash. Not only is it against the law... its just wrong.

I've had one dining experience that deserved to not be paid for. Even the Manager wouldn't do anything about the poor service when I complained.We got our meals before our appetizer showed up. Both mine and my boyfriend's orders were wrong the first time, then cooked wrong the second time. Mine took a half hour to get back to me for some reason (it's a freakin burger....shouldn't take long to fix), the fries tasted stale, our drinks were never refilled and we never got water to make up for it. Worse service ever. And it even took them another half hour more just to give us our check. We paid and all, though we felt we shouldn't have.....took another half hour to get back our freakin change! So yeah....there are times were considering it might be an okay choice. It's rare...but it happens.

@4: I think the OP was joking maybe? Why does no one get that? Families don't tend to ever do a "chew n' screw"- it's mostly young couples and groups of kids who would even think about doing it. @12: Oh you SO should have dined&dashed. Really, if I ever got service like that, I would (assuming that the people I was with were willing to)

bigfootbighand 0

#12 that still isnt a reason to chew and screw, im a waiter about to go in to work in about 15 min but that is bullcrap, you never chew and screw, leave a bad comment maybe bc those can hurt us but leaving is just plain stealing, i know that at my last restaurant job they would fire the server if people just walked out without paying.

samhat 0

your waitress or waiter isnt responsible for the food itself. if it sucks, tell the manager. the waitress has no control over what the cooks do.

curlychick 0

#12: still no reason to dine and dash. your server has absolutely no control over your food-that's on the cooks. but if you leave without paying, your server ends up having to pay for the meal you walked out on, not to mention tip outs to hostess, food runner, bartender, etc. there is no reason for a server to be held responsible for that.

If that's the first time in 5 years that your child has embarrassed you in public, consider yourself lucky. Everyone knows you shouldn't say things around children that you don't want them to repeat. Rookie mistake. No sympathy for you

DarkBioHazard 0

Your just a horrible person for even thinking that!

Battledog5006 0

Damn, thats a bitch.. Well YDI for thinkin about Chewin and Screwin when they're bustin' their asses.

_apecakez 0

... Can someone please explain to me what "Chew And Screw" means? Because to me, it just seems like a weird form of foreplay..

#14 -- Chew (eat thy food) and screw (get the **** out of there, mind you, without paying).

_apecakez 0

.. Oh. Jeez, that was self-explained. /face palm/

Ever heard of "Dine and dash"? This is some weird unknown way of phrasing that. I've certainly never heard of that phrasing, but in the context, it's kind of obvious... In case you've never heard of that, even, it's eating a meal and then leaving without paying for it. Edit: Oops, someone beat me to it.

mikakarie 0