Today, I realized the extent of my crush on one of my employees....

By beingthebossisoverrated - United States

Today, I realized the extent of my crush on one of my employees. I found myself cropping our picture out of the staff photo to see what we would look like as a couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18352

You deserved it

42036

Favorite

Work

Dodged a bullet

It's not unusual

Mystery message service

By Anonymous - United States - Lewiston

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35587

You deserved it

7511

Favorite

By Noname - Canada

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54764

You deserved it

10200

Favorite

By jj159 - United States

Today, I found out that the money my husband and I gave to my son for university courses, has instead been spent on pole dancing lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29997

You deserved it

3735

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Today, my dad gave me a twenty minute lecture about responsibility and how lazy he considers me to be. He then yelled at me for not making his bed and getting his clothes off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30788

You deserved it

2524

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Truro

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9660

You deserved it

40435

Favorite

By Anonymous - 19/8/2020 05:05

Double standards

Today, my best friend, who is also Godmother to my son, came over to visit for a few hours, as she does every other day. My husband complained to me that she’s over a lot. But he doesn’t see anything wrong with his best friend coming over every weekend and sleepover for 2-3 days straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1460

You deserved it

164

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Worcester

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24263

You deserved it

5888

Favorite

By TheSublime - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37734

You deserved it

4616

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I pointed out to my manager that I haven’t been paid for my first month's work. They told me my paperwork had been misplaced, so I hadn’t actually been hired yet. So I just worked a full month for free. Oh, and apparently they’re not legally obligated to pay me, so I’m not getting paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2162

You deserved it

159

Favorite

By shylahrc - United States

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43078

You deserved it

3504

Favorite

By Mandy - Canada

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28711

You deserved it

2421

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1164

You deserved it

391

Favorite

By sparkynobe - Australia - Melbourne

Today, a co-worker asked me what meat we use for the drumsticks. We work in a chicken factory. This co-worker also thought that spreading out the chicken wings more evenly in the tray would increase the overall weight of the product. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3866

You deserved it

248

Favorite

By boyishgirl - United States - Anchorage

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33830

You deserved it

3067

Favorite

By Aaron - United States

Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51920

You deserved it

3709

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my psycho stepmother and I got into an argument, and she started to get physical. After calling the police, and a cop showing up at the door, he took her side because she said it was "discipline". I'm a 29 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37082

You deserved it

5214

Favorite

By IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish - United States - Iowa Park

Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML

I agree, your life sucks

21520

You deserved it

2545

Favorite

By lsta - United States

Today, I donated blood for the first time, and all the nurses kept complimenting on how good my veins were. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in the past 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55925

You deserved it

4408

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that a co-worker of mine that I had originally hired, trained, and mentored to work in my department for the past 4 years had just got the promotion that I had applied for. He is now my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49835

You deserved it

5409

Favorite

By Goaway - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40584

You deserved it

10745

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13887

You deserved it

54143

Favorite

By spinster - United States - Lubbock

Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22254

You deserved it

3874

Favorite

By lbailey32 - United States - Seneca Falls

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42185

You deserved it

4424

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, my husband of 3 weeks told me he doesn't want to be married anymore because I suggested getting a joint bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31700

You deserved it

4413

Favorite

By nl4 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23862

You deserved it

56055

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40242

You deserved it

3150

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1684

You deserved it

173

Favorite

By ActuallyDoneFor - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how 2 girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend says "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he said, he hesitantly added "...if I was single." FML

I agree, your life sucks

3190

You deserved it

380

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Tatamagouche

Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41815

You deserved it

6983

Favorite

By musicalkitcat - United States

Today, one of my best friends went into labor 14 days early. I'd told my boss previously about this and that I need to be there for my friend as she doesn't really have any family. My boss will not let me leave work to be there. Why? I didn't give enough notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40938

You deserved it

3343

Favorite

By Lunar-Spice

Free the Flow!

Today, I went to take a shower. I noticed a funky smell, but I just assumed it was from whoever had been there last. When I pulled the shower curtain back, I found out that my sister has stopped using feminine hygiene products for her period. It looked like someone had died in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1628

You deserved it

124

Favorite

By tdizzlehi - 28/8/2020 02:00 - United States - Boston

Won't someone think of the economy?

Today, after coming out of a meeting during which I promised my employees better wages, I was met at the door by my CEO telling me to lay off all the employees I just talked to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1659

You deserved it

198

Favorite

By Zanovitch - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47947

You deserved it

4251

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Cleveland

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63653

You deserved it

17468

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/5/2020 14:00

Spreading it around

Today, I overheard my co-worker talking about how she's going to Panama City, Florida this weekend and is going to "get lit." It's the middle of the pandemic, and she's going to go party on a beach. She'll be back at work Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1552

You deserved it

212

Favorite

By tatortot7707 - United States

Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33877

You deserved it

3789

Favorite

By nothingdoes - United States

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33807

You deserved it

2965

Favorite

By Emyka - Austria

Today, at my job of 2 months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for 2 months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12249

You deserved it

6607

Favorite

By broken down and flat broke - United States - Alexandria

Today, I had the lovely experience of witnessing a tow truck cause a couple thousand dollars' worth of damage to my broken-down car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20725

You deserved it

1330

Favorite

By gonnafail - United States - York

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45617

You deserved it

3267

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By scorpiogirl666 | 0

#400788 - Thursday 16 July 2009 9:56

Oh my god, you're REALLY creepy...

By Zurr | 0

#400816 - Thursday 16 July 2009 10:03

This isn't an FML. If it turns out that they leave you to work for a rival company and run you out of business, then that's an FML. >>

COMMENTS

By scorpiogirl666 | 0

#400788 - Thursday 16 July 2009 9:56

Oh my god, you're REALLY creepy...

Dante167 | 0

#400876 - Thursday 16 July 2009 10:32

Agreed. Haha I hope the poor guy doesnt actually go out with the OP, shes probly psycho.

divineinstrument | 2

#400984 - Thursday 16 July 2009 11:57

What's with everyone? There's nothing majorly creepy about this. She was probably quite bored.

Besides, does no one remember their last crush? You do get really obsessed over the object of your desires.

xoxo_girl | 0

#401447 - Thursday 16 July 2009 16:00

Wat makes u think it's a girl? For all we know it culd be some Loser guy

UsernameAZ_09 | 0

#401526 - Thursday 16 July 2009 16:17

Because it says "(woman)"..

_THE_MASTER_ | 0

#401738 - Thursday 16 July 2009 17:05

A) you're creepy...very creepy
B) xoxo_girl...you're stupid. learn to read.
C) lists are fun.

MsTs1 | 0

#401978 - Thursday 16 July 2009 18:17

i once photoshopped my crush naked, then i fapped really hard and had the biggest orgasm of my llife

jaaxx_fml | 0

#404418 - Friday 17 July 2009 11:16

exact words came to mind

intotheblue | 0

#405917 - Friday 17 July 2009 22:37

#47: yeah, the last time I acted that way when I had a crush, I was in high school. The OP is an adult, and somehow managed to convince someone she was supervisor material, so she should have outgrown such behavior by now. THAT is why this is creepy.

By americayay | 0

#400789 - Thursday 16 July 2009 9:56

That's not really an FML. You have a crush on an employee. So? Ask them out. Maybe they'll say yes if they never see that picture.

:D

jessibess | 0

#401384 - Thursday 16 July 2009 15:41

Maybe he's taken, and she knows that she won't have a chance with him...?

TheTragicReturn | 0

#402192 - Thursday 16 July 2009 19:35

I agree; this isn't an FML.

#64: If that's what the author meant, she should have said so.

letitbe56 | 0

#402341 - Thursday 16 July 2009 20:15

Since she's the employee's superior, that could also be considered sexual harassment. If she really wants to ask the employee out, she should consult her superior or HR to see what the company policy is.

Also, she should be careful, because if the employee finds out about what she's doing with the picture cropping thing, she could get in a lot of trouble.