By Anonymous - 14/6/2021 22:01

Mistaken identity

Today, I got home to some mad woman in my yard screaming about pregnancy and rape, and I almost had a heart attack thinking my son was being accused of some terrible crime. Turns out she was accusing my 15-year-old tomcat of impregnating her prize winning white fluff-ball of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1013

You deserved it

79

Tweet

Share

Public freakouts

Serious times

Official notice

Missed opportunities

By raquelcita - United States - Winter Park

Today, I went to my boss with concerns that my manager is dumping her responsibilities on me. He agreed and told me to just do whatever she wants. She gets paid twice as much as me to talk on her cellphone all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13583

You deserved it

1006

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Casselberry

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20892

You deserved it

5069

Tweet

Share

By mental - United States - Norfolk

Insanity

Today, I had my first appointment with my new therapist. After I told her my family history and past abusive situations, she looked at me and asked, "How are you still sane?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

1759

You deserved it

122

Tweet

Share

By anon_1996 - United Kingdom - Haslemere

Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45686

You deserved it

16122

Tweet

Share

By Chard of Glass - Canada - Marystown

Today, I woke up with a nasty cough. My mother gave me cough syrup for it. After about 30 minutes, I was dizzy, nauseous, and high as a fucking kite. Turns out the cough syrup reacts badly with my prescription medications, making me even sicker than I already was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11592

You deserved it

1155

Tweet

Share

By oopsiecoffee - Canada

Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full" He's the owner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13281

You deserved it

76554

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/7/2021 14:00 - United States - Verona

SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

Today, it was one of those days when my housemates thinks they can bug me every five minutes when I'm trying to work from home. Doing this or talking about that, wrecking my train of thought on complicated work until it's a railyard of disaster. Is it five o'clock yet? FML

I agree, your life sucks

706

You deserved it

84

Tweet

Share

By OiVey - United States - Padre Island Ntl Seashor

Today, I found out that I've been taking the wrong math class all semester. We're only a few weeks from finals and I have no drops left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3241

You deserved it

1527

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51165

You deserved it

5472

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Winchester

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32212

You deserved it

3392

Tweet

Share

By Username - France

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29569

You deserved it

15691

Tweet

Share

By EggBomb

Today, after boiling eggs my whole life, I wanted to try a packaged hard-boiled egg for the first time. I'd never had a cold egg before, so I thought it would be a good idea to warm it up. Now, I'm cleaning out a billion pieces of egg shrapnel in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5434

You deserved it

9709

Tweet

Share

By hitlerfish

Today, while meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, the first comment I received was, "Well, at least this one is white." FML

I agree, your life sucks

5899

You deserved it

436

Tweet

Share

By gt - Canada

Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15739

You deserved it

35709

Tweet

Share

By untitledentity - United States

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56594

You deserved it

19884

Tweet

Share

By livgasms - United Kingdom

Today, my family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in my room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be 'funny as hell' to watch me freak out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30706

You deserved it

5085

Tweet

Share

By Suzie

Today, the family posted my mother in law’s obituary. My husband was listed as a survivor, with no mention of me, while all the other spouses were named. Also listed as a survivor - his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2455

You deserved it

197

Tweet

Share

By chestycough - Australia - Belrose

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58226

You deserved it

5371

Tweet

Share

By unwantedforlife - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48879

You deserved it

3834

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - France

Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28821

You deserved it

4338

Tweet

Share

By sstahpp - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, while I was taking a long relaxing shower, the shower head decided to fly off and hit me in the face. The dentist couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22464

You deserved it

5014

Tweet

Share

By CaptainFluffyPaw - United States - San Francisco

Today, a customer complained about me for getting their order wrong. This would have been fine if they hadn't sent their ten-year-old kid to order for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26694

You deserved it

1853

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Miss me yet?

Today, after I kicked my boyfriend out, thinking the sudden separation would make him value our relationship more, I heard he's spent the last 3 weeks at his brother's constantly playing Xbox, hasn’t called me once, and now I’m hearing rumours he’s been taking other women home from sleazy bars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

610

You deserved it

2772

Tweet

Share

By Upside-Down Sleeper. - United States - Pasadena

Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31709

You deserved it

5343

Tweet

Share

By ihatemylife - United States

Today, I had to remind my roommates of the importance of wearing clothing at all times in the common living area. My roommates are my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38242

You deserved it

6042

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Bury

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55870

You deserved it

30204

Tweet

Share

By Lucyferia Michelle - 9/4/2021 11:00

GERD Gang!

Today, I learned that I have multiple gallstones, even though the lab report said I only had one. However, the pain is both in my left side and right side, as well as around my navel. I also have Chronic GERD and IBS. FML

I agree, your life sucks

803

You deserved it

57

Tweet

Share

By sad - United States

Today, after the firetruck and EMS came to my house for an emergency, I realized that not all firefighters looked like the ones in my calendar. This depressed me more than the emergency. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7853

You deserved it

43172

Tweet

Share

By goddamn chicken subs - United States

Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22755

You deserved it

1636

Tweet

Share

By Bacon0426 - United States - Skaneateles

Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12691

You deserved it

1090

Tweet

Share

By BunniesOnAcid - United States - Clinton

Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40716

You deserved it

4101

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41072

You deserved it

4483

Tweet

Share

By prettyinpurple - United States

Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear ending the person in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7914

You deserved it

56099

Tweet

Share

By PapaW - United States - Lehi

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

97218

You deserved it

7082

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49685

You deserved it

4141

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets and lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35771

You deserved it

4089

Tweet

Share

By schmoodles - United States

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22754

You deserved it

70787

Tweet

Share

By homersgirl - United States

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29195

You deserved it

5093

Tweet

Share

By all by myself - Ireland - Cork

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41663

You deserved it

3756

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/7/2021 16:00

Pump and dump

Today, my husband had to admit that he lost 5000$ on a cryptocurrency scam that some asshole Twitch streamer convinced him to invest in via Twitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

878

You deserved it

124

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Bogrbon | 24

#8001241 - Monday 14 June 2021 23:49

I guess lil' Miss Fluff Ball was out slumming it on the wrong side of the railroad tracks...

By Yudith | 20

#8001380 - Tuesday 15 June 2021 13:12

You know you can still get your cat neutered in his golden years, don't you?

COMMENTS

By Bogrbon | 24

#8001241 - Monday 14 June 2021 23:49

I guess lil' Miss Fluff Ball was out slumming it on the wrong side of the railroad tracks...

Reply

kfchicken | 31

#8001294 - Tuesday 15 June 2021 4:42

hey now let's not throw libelous claims at poor elderly Mr. Tom. for all we know he's very well to do and relaxing in his golden years.

By Yudith | 20

#8001380 - Tuesday 15 June 2021 13:12

You know you can still get your cat neutered in his golden years, don't you?

By Charlie Given | 24

#8001432 - Tuesday 15 June 2021 17:59

Tell the wild Karen to go fuck herself and prove that it was your cat 🤣😂