Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try a new "exotic" restaurant that just recently opened. I paid almost a hundred bucks for a bowl of oily meat sludge and a bunch of mushy vegetables, then got to shit my brains out all night. Exotic my ass. FML
Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I went for dinner and bowling with a woman I met online. The Mexican food was great but my bowels started feeling it during our first game. I slipped on the bowling lane and the impact of my ass hitting the ground made me shit myself. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I had a really big, satisfying shit in the loo of a pub several miles from home. After getting back to my table, my stomach rumbled, and, assuming it was just gas, I let it go. What followed was approximately a litre of brown water, soaking my underwear, jeans, and chair, and dribbling onto the floor. FML
Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML
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Top comments
luckycharm421 3
just because it's expensive doesn't mean it's good
chanel8711 0
orange liquid shit? you must have eaten too much fish called escolar. they have oils that we cant properly digest so you can only eat a very small amount of it. ydi for not knowing what you ordered.
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Comments (137)
Bob65803 0
Sounds like you paid through the ass for it!
mattwaffle08 0
I did that when I got a blumkin, and it's hot up on her face and all over my sack. but I finished strong. pphhheeewwww all over her face. along with the shit. from my bowels.
LilaBear 2
I think you mean "emptying" rather than "voiding". "Voiding" something means "cancelling" it. I don't think you were cancelling your bowels.
Sarkyrevenger 0
The problem with this post is that the digestive system doesn't work that fast... What caused your orange sh1t was probably something you ate a day or two prior.
JETT19 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA lol, well orange you glad its not green?
bryanthecook 0
there is a fish commonly served at sushi restaurants called escolar, or super white tuna, that causes orange liquid shit in about 10% of the population. Also, fish don't transmit salmonella unless they've been in contact with raw chicken.
Brennanrulez 0
allergy*
Brennanrulez 0
allergy*
LadyNutella11 0
shoulda had wasabi with your sushi!
golazzo 0
thats disgusting