By Katy3225 - 6/6/2018 15:00 - United States - Rockaway Park

First Impression

Today, it was my first day teaching economics to a university class of 150. For the first 5 minutes, a bunch of students snickered. I asked why. One said, "Your zipper's open, but it doesn't matter because your blue panties are showing through your white pants anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks

3469

You deserved it

1613

Tweet

Share

Does it taste good?

Vultures

Tidy your room

By Anonymous - 9/9/2020 23:00

Appearance matters

Today, I tried thinking of the best way to kill myself without leaving my body intact enough for people to continue to judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1205

You deserved it

180

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/3/2015 15:50 - United Kingdom - Horsham

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

I agree, your life sucks

30656

You deserved it

2261

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/8/2009 01:02 - United States

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41731

You deserved it

3153

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/12/2010 19:11 - United States

Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7288

You deserved it

39622

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/8/2009 09:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I flew my girlfriend to Paris for our one year anniversary. Little did I know that instead of going up the Eiffel Tower and over looking the most romantic city she would rather spend it in bed with a French man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58149

You deserved it

4917

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/10/2015 22:22 - United States - Ashburn

Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16828

You deserved it

23382

Tweet

Share

By Ouch - 10/10/2019 02:00 - Serbia

Mommy's favorite flower

Today, I learned how it feels when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot then landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1594

You deserved it

238

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/10/2009 20:10 - United States

Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43115

You deserved it

6196

Tweet

Share

By imcold - 30/12/2013 07:32 - United States

Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31749

You deserved it

2737

Tweet

Share

By hopeless cluts - 29/1/2012 07:36 - Canada

Today, as I was crossing the slush covered street to catch the bus, I slipped and fell right in the middle of the road. A woman in a car rolled down her window. She didn't ask if I was okay but just laughed and took a picture of me covered in cold, wet slush. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29003

You deserved it

2362

Tweet

Share

By Buttscratcher - 3/3/2012 16:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14828

You deserved it

31676

Tweet

Share

By sippinsoup22 - 16/2/2016 01:25 - United States - Houston

Today, my cat was being surprisingly loving towards me. Normally she ignores me so I obviously found this rather odd. She kept meowing so I assumed she was hungry. As I was getting up to feed her, she stood up and pooped all over me, my bed and phone, then turned away and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19650

You deserved it

2393

Tweet

Share

By yum yogurt - 30/10/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28300

You deserved it

17050

Tweet

Share

By mysea8679 - 12/6/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48333

You deserved it

7449

Tweet

Share

By Dunzo15 - 2/5/2009 06:28 - United States

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

201825

You deserved it

51511

Tweet

Share

By PatientlyDying - 15/6/2015 23:07 - United States - Plano

Today, while talking to my parents, I dropped an ordinary drinking glass. After I apologized and cleaned the mess, they told me that they had decided that if I couldn't be careful at home, I certainly couldn't be careful on the roads. They took away my keys. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29519

You deserved it

2750

Tweet

Share

By insert pussy pun, hurr durr - 29/6/2016 17:34 - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12199

You deserved it

1117

Tweet

Share

By sarahhh - 13/2/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

41430

You deserved it

3499

Tweet

Share

By BagelShmear - 7/10/2010 01:15 - United States

Today, while working the cash register at my job, a little kid was running around with products while his mom was checking out. She told him she was going to give me his PSP if he didn't stop. He responded by throwing a bag of coffee beans at my face. I didn't even get to keep his PSP. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32030

You deserved it

4228

Tweet

Share

By kb - 18/11/2013 06:38 - United States

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36599

You deserved it

4012

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 05:55 - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43796

You deserved it

8759

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/7/2009 13:09 - Canada

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49651

You deserved it

4135

Tweet

Share

By yeshehaspornaddiction - 2/7/2013 04:37 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks

56767

You deserved it

13337

Tweet

Share

By Wraith - 6/11/2013 17:27 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40590

You deserved it

4770

Tweet

Share

By princess - 12/4/2014 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48397

You deserved it

7128

Tweet

Share

By Cuzles - 23/3/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18530

You deserved it

36075

Tweet

Share

By rob - 23/11/2008 10:59 - France

Today, my mum prepared my bag for football practice. In the changing room I found one of her thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30234

You deserved it

4460

Tweet

Share

By girlwithaprob - 13/11/2010 21:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34691

You deserved it

3727

Tweet

Share

By Kassiopia - 14/11/2009 12:35 - United States

Today, my Dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter over reacted." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37265

You deserved it

3539

Tweet

Share

By sunflower226 - 5/8/2011 21:41 - United States

Today, I had to pay a $150 late fee because my landlord didn't receive the rent check. My boyfriend had addressed the envelope to himself and put the landlord's as the return address. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28464

You deserved it

4003

Tweet

Share

By Beaten - 31/7/2010 23:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17746

You deserved it

42025

Tweet

Share

By sting - 6/12/2014 01:32 - United States - Valencia

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31583

You deserved it

16403

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/6/2015 18:05 - United States - Mankato

Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28969

You deserved it

4383

Tweet

Share

By hey-ooo - 28/10/2009 01:15 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friends when I suddenly passed out due to my hypoglycemia. When I woke up, I discovered that I was still in the same spot and my friends had abandoned me to go to class. Also, my stuff was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46677

You deserved it

2826

Tweet

Share

By socreepedouticanteven - 27/10/2014 00:05 - United States - Procious

Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32406

You deserved it

6097

Tweet

Share

By daddy-o - 14/3/2012 07:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34666

You deserved it

20737

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/2/2016 05:55 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16306

You deserved it

13335

Tweet

Share

By Rejected. - 22/11/2009 17:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

49190

You deserved it

3877

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/6/2016 13:51 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, my mom and I staged an intervention for my alcoholic dad. Within minutes he'd turned everything around on us, claiming we're in no position to judge him for drinking since we use "too much water" when we shower. Apparently that's on the same level as being an abusive alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13604

You deserved it

803

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/5/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the orthodontist's to get my braces tightened, and I chose baby blue bands. Turns out they make my teeth look extremely yellow. Only a month and a half to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23619

You deserved it

4797

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By PhoenixChick | 26

#7644466 - Wednesday 6 June 2018 22:01

Time to teach them the economics of "I control your grades, fuck you"

By blahblabbity | 19

#7644517 - Thursday 7 June 2018 0:02

were they urine-stained, torn, K-Mart panties? did you not learn the first FML?

COMMENTS

By Ishvah | 15

#7644456 - Wednesday 6 June 2018 21:18

did you not check the mirror before you left.

Reply

kbrightness22 | 10

#7644562 - Thursday 7 June 2018 1:54

Different lighting can make things more see through

By RichardPencil | 28

#7644457 - Wednesday 6 June 2018 21:24

I guess you supplied their demand for a sexy lingerie show.

How did your zipper get pulled down anyways? I blame Adam Smith’s Invisible Hand. He’d be so busted in the MeToo era!

Reply

DraftHail614 | 17

#7644552 - Thursday 7 June 2018 1:27

I'm sorry, man. I gotta say this. Your comment used to be so good

Reply

RichardPencil | 28

#7644658 - Thursday 7 June 2018 8:34

You obviously don't know shit about economics. If you did, you'd like this comment!

Reply

Simi TheSimtown | 6

#7646585 - Monday 11 June 2018 15:08

I've done economics, it's a funny comment

By swervelol | 28

#7644460 - Wednesday 6 June 2018 21:38

There must have been some bad lighting that made Op's pants see though. So sorry OP! That must've been awful, but at least you'll be the professor they will never forget that's for sure!

Reply

julfunky | 29

#7644474 - Wednesday 6 June 2018 22:14

Bad lighting wouldn’t make pants see through, bad/cheap fabric would.

Bad lighting at home is what caused her to be unable to notice this in a mirror.

By Emma Eisnor | 14

#7644463 - Wednesday 6 June 2018 21:50

Well... that’s awkward. Sorry that happened to you OP

By Akitakat | 31

#7644464 - Wednesday 6 June 2018 21:57

Tell them it was actually a test to see what exactly they were focused on & how easily they can be distracted.

By PhoenixChick | 26

#7644466 - Wednesday 6 June 2018 22:01

Time to teach them the economics of "I control your grades, fuck you"

By John Nemeth | 14

#7644516 - Wednesday 6 June 2018 23:59

Might as well own it at that point.

By blahblabbity | 19

#7644517 - Thursday 7 June 2018 0:02

were they urine-stained, torn, K-Mart panties? did you not learn the first FML?

By real life problems | 26

#7644525 - Thursday 7 June 2018 0:11

Instead of dinner and a show, they got a lecture and a show. School isn't like I remember it to be.

By Ralph Tan | 7

#7644583 - Thursday 7 June 2018 4:02

Guess more student will be attending your class