Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long, nasty toenails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML
Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML
Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML
Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
darienlake 0
hahaha. you should have gone back in and started a conversation while casually using the scissors to cut your pubic hairs and see what he does
RipIt 0
YDI for smoking! naaah just kidding, that's gross!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (235)
stormin972 0
lol
fafa123_fml 0
ydi for smoking
omgwtffmmfl 0
YDI Smoker
what_the_fail 0
so? its just toenails
vinterhjerte 0
1. TOENAILS, people - you're freaking out as if he had stirred his own vomit with those scissors. Sure, maybe cutting his toenails with his wife's cooking scissors isn't exactly what you would call "delicious", but come ON - get a grip. 2. "Smoking is just as gross", "YDI for smoking" - oh, puh-lease. First of all, that's not the point. Secondly, wait until you meet someone you fall in love with and this someone turns out to be a smoker. I bet my ass you wouldn't break up because of that. So stop whining and grow up.
thesunshotme 0
^this.
ash92_fml 0
#149, win! me too. smoking is foul.
vinterhjerte 0
Well, okay, let's say you have a "crush" on someone and his "bad habit" is the only thing that freaks you out OR you're IN LOVE with a person and he or she starts smoking - you would rather dump this person than stay with him/her because of THAT? And YOU tell me I don't know the difference between "being in love" and "having a crush on someone"? OHH the irony.
alliemay 0
It's not fair to say YDI for smoking. I personally hate smoking, but her smoking certainly did not cause him to do this. Besides, it is kind of good that she was out SMOKING when she happened to see... ignorance may be bliss, but he was still doing it and now she can stop it.
Sekococo 0
Is he the gamer who put pubes in your mouth after each win on the xbox after you sleep?
epound28 0
#75 - I was wondering the SAME thing. And really, it's not bad. By now, he's probably done it for a while now, and your body surely is used to it. Not a "F my life" moment, but to prevent it, I would call him out on it if it offends you that bad. YDI.
GreenDaemon21 0
YDI for going outside of the kitchen. Know you're place, woman!
MermaidSongXOXO 6
I'm not a feminazi, both genders are equal, but that just peeves me.
CleanSheets 0
Oh, really now? When you try to find a nice descent woman who is actually worth something, you're going to deserve it when she rejects you for being the ignorant idiot that you are. Good day, sir (:
alya_fml 0
op is using that scissor in kitchen for making meal for his nasty husband! at least the thing that she does only harms her, not her husband. it's just sick and disgusting what he did.
hitmanoo 16
if you're smoking you're already filthy and disgusting so what's the difference!