By MessedXUp - 25/09/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks 19 474
You deserved it 47 317

Same thing different taste

Top comments

CraziOne 0

What is up with girls that dont eat on dates? I dont get this. If you dont want to eat on a first date then do something that doesnt involve food. Like Miniature golf? Bowling? beach? And even if you go out for food, just dont eat a lot. Dont make yourself suffer by drinking a lot of water. It's not healthy.

Zhombie 0

Why not just eat before you went out on the date...I mean really?


DuckOnAStick 0

What's with all these girls on FML pissing themselves? Almost every time I'm on here a girl complains about how she pissed herself laughing, crying, farting, etc. Learn some self control.

redblueviolet 0

Oh, god, that's embarrassing... That's worse than the time I wet myself in 4th grade XD

My boy friend loves the fact that I don't starve myself and I am totally comfortable ordering a meal just as equal as his (granted, I am a vegetarian, and I am only about 115 lbs...) I exercise and I eat healthy full meals. You are a complete idiot if you think a guy is going to look at you and think you are a pig for eating a normal full meal. It is part of being human. Guys want to see a girl who is confidant with herself and takes care of all her needs... and eating is one of them! If you take care of yourself well- you will take care of him well. Don't be a stupid insecure barbie from the 50's who thinks that guys don't want to see a girl eat in front of them. This is 2009. Women are CEOs, Prime Ministers, and members of congress.. there is NOO need to not eat in front of men just to look "dainty." This FML made me sick.

Thank god you only pissed your pants as an adult. That could have been quite embarrassing if you had eaten like a pig. You really dodged a bullet there.

A normal full meal has some meat ;) and no jokes but y be a veg when meat is just soo ******* delicious!

dabomb1463 0

ooo... This begs the question, did he notice, and if he did, what happened then?

nomnomsarah 3

Nothing happened because it's fake. Notice how op said "with a NEW guy" after not dating for some time, then "forgotten how funny" he really was?

DeadxManxWalking 27

she could have met and been friends "new guy" refers to "new guy I'm dating"

Zhombie 0

Why not just eat before you went out on the date...I mean really?

Why not eat what you want to, like a normal person? Guys would NEVER pay attention to that and, if they did, they wouldn't care.

CraziOne 0

What is up with girls that dont eat on dates? I dont get this. If you dont want to eat on a first date then do something that doesnt involve food. Like Miniature golf? Bowling? beach? And even if you go out for food, just dont eat a lot. Dont make yourself suffer by drinking a lot of water. It's not healthy.

Damn! I came here to say that! (EDIT: I'm referring to the post by allmidnighteyes, but I agree with both of them)

Hate it as well. Just think how the guy feels if you don't eat. it's boring to eat by yourself with someone else there. you isolate them and deny the enjoyment of eating.

palmtrees 1

Really? You're worried the guy might not like you because you ate a normal-sized meal? Normally guys say they like a girl who's not afraid to eat like a normal human being. Also, "peed" does not need an apostrophe.

No joke. Really if you want a guy that would be shallow enough to care about you eating a big meal at dinner then you're in for a lot of shitty relationships.

I'm gonna respectfully disagree. I think everyone puts a little bit of a facade on during the first little dating phase with someone. You try to impress them. They know your hair isn't naturally done up magnificently, and you do, in fact, POOP. However, most people don't show those imperfections right away. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Anyone with common sense isn't going to be deceived into thinking someone really is perfect. Why she drank water instead of just eating, I don't get. That makes it sound like she's starving herself, which is never good. Personally, I eat a little something before dates so I'm not such an expensive date, so I don't keep him out longer than he planned because I'm still eating, and because I don't think eating like a gluttonous pig on a date is any more attractive than eating half a salad.

palmtrees 1

You know there is a middle ground between half a salad and "gluttonous pig," right?

I'd prefer the chick who kept eating to the chick who only ate half a salad. To me, half-salad chick would look like she was purposely denying herself food, and me eating normally would also make her wait. And I don't really eat a lot either, but I do go beyond the salad... I was almost sure that was, you know, what you're supposed to do when you go out to eat... It'd also look like half-salad chick wasn't having a good time. People often pick at their food or eat little when they either don't feel well or are incredibly bored with and unengaged in their current party. Understood that eating beforehand doesn't mean not eating, but how many people know you ate beforehand? Hmm... If you told them, I wonder how many would actually find that rather rude? "You knew we were going to eat, why did you fill yourself up?" Then again I don't really spiffy up before first impressions, so what do I know?...

Uh, yeah, like I said, one is NO MORE attractive than the other. Reading fail..? I'm saying, if I feel like I am going to eat a lot one night, I eat a little bit at home first so that I only eat an average amount on the date. Read. Edit: This was to the first reply.

palmtrees 1

I am actually capable of reading. You said one was no more attractive than the other, as though those were the only two options and neither was really attractive. I was just pointing out that there is a middle ground, which could be perfectly acceptable. Therefore, your defense of the OPs actions in saying that a girl eating "like a gluttonous pig" isn't attractive doesn't really work.

" I'm not such an expensive date." WTF? You don't pay for yourself when you eat? How retrograde and sexist is that?

@69: It's called chivalry, my dear, and it still exists in the world today.

69: The one who takes the other out usually is the one to pay. That doesn't mean she's saying she's going to make everyone pay for her. Plus guys usually want to anyway... some sort of manliness about it.

OperationNicole_fml 0

You guys are really funny. You say you prefer to see girls eat than to see girls not eating, which is cool. But if they actually did eat what their little hearts desired, still in moderation, they would not look as good as they do and you probably wouldn't want to date them as much either. The only reason women eat so little and go through extreme dieting, on dates or not, is to conform to the ideals of beauty that MEN seem to have decided on.

I see the confusion. I just meant that the OP may have been worried about being a "gluttonous pig", so she ate a little something. That way, she could fit into that middle ground. Also, I don't have the money to pay for a date. I'm 17 and only semi-employed. If I want to eat, I'll do it at home, cheaply. If some guy, knowing this, offers to take me out, then I'll accept. If he doesn't feel that's fair (which would be understandable), then we can just hang out at home.

88 No actually I don't pay very much attention to how much someone eats when we go eating, unless it's a substantially low or high amount. Or maybe I don't count because I'm a woman.

YDI for not being confident enough to eat your fill in front of your new squeeze. Weak.

CraziOne 0

Yeah if he doesnt like you becuase you eat then thats his problem not yours. My sister can eat an entire cow (not littleraly) and not gain an ounce.

Sun_Kissed18 25

Same with me, guys tend to like it. Maybe you need to meet guys who actually want a girl who eats food like a normal person.

It's most likely that her not wanting to eat had nothing to do with the guy.


Nothing says true love like making each other piss themselves. I think

Normal girls sometimes eat a small meal before a date, so they can eat a small amount on the date and not have their stomach growl. Good thing you didn't do that or you might have crapped your drawers. Did you let him know that you peed or did you pretend you are a female ejaculator and his humor caused you to have squirting orgasms?

MiseryMan 0

I know, right? I bet their sexual experience together will turn into disaster and Toxicunt will probably post a FML about the whole thing.

Um, sure, we'll get right on it. If OUR exchanges annoy you, don't read them! That's like watching a ******* reality show and sitting there the whole time saying, "Jeez, this is annoying. I hate how they act around each other. God it's awful. Oh this is such shitty TV." Duh, what should you do about this situation? Other person, yeah, look for that one in upcoming weeks/months/years.

Hey, MiseryMan, what if it turns out great? I don't know if you'd see Toxi and me very much and when we do post here, it will be exceptionally kind and supportive of the OP. Here's an example of what you can expect: Sorry about your peeing incident. Just tell your date the whole truth and he will understand. Promise him that on your next date, you won't drink so much friggin water. Being with someone who makes you laugh is a blessing. Toxi and I make each other laugh all the time and we couldn't be happier! Is that what you want?