By motherfuck666 - 18/05/2014 21:21 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 889
You deserved it 5 485

Same thing different taste

Top comments


Scubanaut 13

If you pass out, then you know it's working. Men are immune to the chloroform in it. The reason? If you're using axe, you're in desperate need of affection.

Darn. I thought all those unconscious girls actually loved me. Does that mean I have to let them go?

No, just wait for the Stockholm's to set in.

nlm92 15

The spray is absolutely horrendous. I actually don't mind their shampoo/body wash though. It's a lot more mild.

martin8337 35

Thank you 23. I sometimes feel terrible for actually using it. Especially when I look at the back of the bottle and see how it's supposed to attract girls to complete douches. But Phoenix and Jet I actually use. But I only started using them because they were named for things that fly... Yeah, I probably have some issues...

I agree, #1. Why are people thumbing this down?

#70 Because they more than likely use Axe.

OP's boyfriend's mom probably knows the stuff acts as a repellant.

Give him the ax or you yourself will timber.

Hopefully your boyfriend doesn't mistake your nausea for desire.

"The night was perfect. She had that starry look in her eyes. Then she fell into my arms."

groovycrazyjoe 18

lol , why she doesn't just tell him to lighten up on the axe

Yeah and who knows how much of the stuff he has! ...No really. Does anybody know? I'm not familiar with a "shitload" as a unit of measurement.

It's less than a shit tonne, but more than a shit pound. It falls somewhere near a short shit ton, errybody knows that.

90-Probably more than he needs. (Approx.)

badluckalex 23

I was thinking the same thing. all axe products smell like dirty buttholes

That's the reason mothers gift axe I doubt they enjoy the smell

Either that or she can't smell anything.

You should tell him it's way too strong. He might not realize it. And you probably aren't the only one suffocating either.

#4 exactly. Say it very nicely though. That's what friends do. Got something in your teeth after lunch? Your friend will tell you. You need to tell the man he smells bit strong and should use less of the product. It's the nice thing to do.

REALAfroninga 11

Axe got me laid!- said no one. Ever.

shyeahh_fml 19

I definitely feel that she should tell her boyfriend, but it may or may not be that big of an issue. Except for the axe... But my sister used to tell me that I sprayed way too much cologne every morning and that she could taste it, in the hallway, through my closed door. And I'd do one spray of Hugo Boss every morning, so it's not really possibly for me to spray less. So I guess my point is that it may smell stronger to some people and he might not be using very much to begin with. My cologne smells strong to my sister, but I tend to get compliments on it from everyone else.

He's like a middle school boy. They use a **** ton of that stuff. It's horrible.

Back in my day all the guys drowned themselves in Drakkar. It was brutal, too.

Our lockeroom smells like chemicals from all the axe everyone sprays into the air.

The best were the unstoppable axe bombs, with an elastic holding the trigger, thrown into the girls change room after p.e. Ahhh the smell of middle school

Not only middle school.. In my high school some of the boys carried 3 bottles... I don't know if they are immune to the smell or what but they would suffocate all the girls in class

Ah, middle school..... the days when I went through a period of frequent, serious migraines (the kind that cause nausea and double vision). The cause, according to the doctor? Strong cologne. The boy who sat in front of me in science class literally was making me vomit with Axe.

Inform your boyfriend the Axe will prevent his wood from growing.

How does that have anything to do with the smell?

If he keeps using it she won't give him a reason to grow his wood.

It's spelled Febreze, just for your information.

Naaah fabreeze is better than febreeze, it's more FAbulous

REALAfroninga 11

I thought it was freebreeze! Like, smelling the breeze is free.

Oh God!, i'm just imagining the titanic battle of the smells between Febreeze and Axe. The resulting "interesting smell" could be used for chemical warfare.

Despite popular opinion, I really do like Axe. I don't bathe in it, though it sounds like your boyfriend does.

it's fine when used in small amounts. Guys tend to drench themselves which is unattractive in my opinion.

@17 I feel your opinion is a very common one when it comes to axe!

I also love it. Just picked some up for my boyfriend, he let me pick the scent. That's love, lol.

^ Maybe it's because he's scared you'll beat him up?

Does being in Jr. High have anything to do with someones' choice in what they use to smell good?

Yes, yes it does, and how much of it they use.

yes it does. Middle schoolers think that it will make them irresistible or something so they use a can a day lol I don't think that they understand that it has the opposite affect.

MissStephanie 10

If there is any smell that could bring me back to middle school, its definitely Axe. It was the absolute worst when anybody would bring that shit out on a crowded school bus.