Miscellaneous: Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible...

By pvcnutcrackingdomqueen4u - 16/08/2015 16:18 - United States - Monmouth Junction

Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 791

You deserved it 1 878

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Same thing different taste

Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 165

You deserved it 8 123

Smell test

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 10:59

Today, I went on a date with a guy from Bumble. It was going well, with dinner and a walk on the waterfront, until he started complaining about skincare products, "People with eczema use that nasty cream, it's so sticky and smells horrible." I have severe eczema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 88

By motherfuck666 - 18/05/2014 21:21 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 889

You deserved it 5 485

Reverse Uno card

By BlackCheetah101 - 04/11/2009 06:51 - Australia

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 467

You deserved it 9 901

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 666

You deserved it 4 521

By r4inb0wbrit3 - 13/07/2012 07:37 - United States - Townsend

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 516

You deserved it 37 922

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 112

You deserved it 7 772

By Username - 16/04/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 925

You deserved it 4 688

Bat out of hell

By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - Sào Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 355

You deserved it 31 722

By Stickysituation - 23/01/2013 18:44 - United States - Depew

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 730

You deserved it 4 496

reklawelyk 15

Monday 17 August 2015 7:03

Welcome to a guys locker room

karcummings 19

Monday 17 August 2015 7:11

you could say he was an.. axe murderer. haha..

Comments

UncleCaitlyn 21

Monday 17 August 2015 7:30

Was it like middle school hallways

Fall_Out_Boy_22 6

Tuesday 18 August 2015 3:02

More like the locker room!

olpally 32

Monday 17 August 2015 7:32

Glad I never used that shit... Sorry op, ugh.

PsychicBulwark 4

Monday 17 August 2015 7:33

Is this user name a joke? I'm not sure what kind of guys you expect to respond to it lol

Kazze 31

Monday 17 August 2015 7:34

I'd respond to it.... With fear.

R2Y2 22

Monday 17 August 2015 9:28

No dude, it's completely serious /sarcasm

Flubberwuffer 9

Monday 17 August 2015 7:34

He might have had to axe you a question, but he sprayed it for later

worldclassrager 39

Monday 17 August 2015 7:35

Axe isn't a shower in a can...I don't think he bathed that day

ironik69 31

Monday 17 August 2015 7:46

But oh goodness, some think it is. My little brother, and by little, I mean he is twenty... He uses the Axe body wash, Deoderant, AND spray. I cant even walk into the part of the house that his room is in. Thank goodness I don't have to live there.

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 17 August 2015 7:51

A blind date with a nose-blind date.

MrSmush 19

Monday 17 August 2015 8:09

At least he tried to smell good for you.

Hildy93 21

Monday 17 August 2015 8:19

Old Spice> Axe

Vlen_fml 20

Monday 17 August 2015 9:39

SMELLS LIKE POWERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

fangirlofthings 21

Monday 17 August 2015 13:44

I personally can't stand the smell of Old Spice. It was all my grandpa wore.

Vlen_fml 20

Monday 17 August 2015 21:01

to quote Oldspice; "If your Grandpa hadn't worn Oldspice, you probably wouldn't exist."

R2Y2 22

Monday 17 August 2015 21:25

Axe is chemical warfare, geneva conventions says no!

hypoxicischemia 11

Monday 17 August 2015 8:30

All high school hallways & locker rooms smell like that, I was one of the contributing causes :(

saffy66 34

Monday 17 August 2015 8:44

Over here in Australia it's called Lynx... My partner in the U.S. uses Axe (very sparingly) so I have the exact same one in Lynx to smell from time to time. I imagine the OP's date fell for the marketing hype, but guys - powerful smelling aftershave and deodorant is really off putting, just saying...