Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
Today, I have a bad cold, so I've been carrying tissues around with me. I noticed our puppy had pooped on the floor, so I grabbed a napkin and cleaned it up, then threw it away. I then blew my nose with my tissue. Apparently, I threw away my tissue and used the napkin. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML
Today, I had to clean up human poop that someone trailed through the store. Then, as I was cleaning up all the shelves at the end of the day, I saw that someone had changed their sanitary pad, took a new one out of the packed and used it, then left the used one on the shelf. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
It was your dad's semen mixed with either your mom's vaginal secretions or her saliva if she gave him a ******** and spat. YWIA, I am always glad to help people identify unknown bodily fluids.
nomnommonster 0
it was the syrup from their midnight snack.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (119)
bigpapi210 0
that's so dumb OP, why do you have to pick up the tissues? ur dumb ass just shoulda left them on the floor, YDI
cmom 0
It's probably just snot. Everyone knows that parents never have sex.
EmmaMarieCullen 0
yeeeeaaaah suuuuuure
babybear808 0
no u didn't... that's just messed up!!
schnitzel5 0
wowwww people go way into this kind of stuff I mean seriously TMI.
schnitzel5 0
what's "OP"
samantha_durano 6
original poster.
schnitzel5 0
thanks
punisher113 0
why did u have too? and if they tried to make you u shouldve told em to **** off, that's what I wouldve done
intolerance 0
unknown sticky substance? cleaning ur parents bedroom? still doing chores for ur allowance? fail unless ur parents just finished the deed
Jman0509 0
my dad when he is sick keeps the trash next to his bed and puts his snot tissue in it so he doesn't have to move much. maybe it was just that.
EatsBabies57 0
or mommy could have put some weird sex toy sunglasses on dads crotch area and his shlong was the nose so i guess daddy needed the tissue for his "runny" nose
Loosicles 0
You did not have to do that. Not even a little bit. What are your parents going to say, "How dare you not clean up our dirty tissues?" Doubt it.
buttshapedfruit 0
ydi. u ddnt HAV to pick it up