Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
Today, I have a bad cold, so I've been carrying tissues around with me. I noticed our puppy had pooped on the floor, so I grabbed a napkin and cleaned it up, then threw it away. I then blew my nose with my tissue. Apparently, I threw away my tissue and used the napkin. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML
Today, I had to clean up human poop that someone trailed through the store. Then, as I was cleaning up all the shelves at the end of the day, I saw that someone had changed their sanitary pad, took a new one out of the packed and used it, then left the used one on the shelf. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
It was your dad's semen mixed with either your mom's vaginal secretions or her saliva if she gave him a ******** and spat. YWIA, I am always glad to help people identify unknown bodily fluids.
nomnommonster 0
it was the syrup from their midnight snack.
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Comments (119)
heyslut 0
that's cum sweetheart :D
letmeinplease 0
Next to AND around their bed? They're gettin' verrrrrry busy ;) ps. DON'T PICK IT UP, YOU FREAKJOB. I'm guessing unless you have the most unfortunately liberated parents ever, they won't call you out for not clearing up their sexual fluids. Tbh, I bet they didn't even ask you to clean their room if they leave stuff like that lying around.
Ihateyourlifetoo 0
you should have used a towle
Six23 1
You didn't have to even empty their wastebacket, let alone pick that shit up...
TheNewGuy03 29
word of advice: don't pick up anything characteristically "unknown." also, i think your parents are messy bastards for completely missing the trash can after having done a deed as dastardly as that. if they truly MADE you pick up those defiled receptacles of man-juice, then they are mean, mean people. and i mean that from the bottom of my heart. |the kid|
Sekococo 0
by silky you run some test and found out its your unborn siblings and there a thing call glove...but you in experince to wear one anyway.
TishNchips 0
Maybe one of them had a really bad cold. That's what tissues are for, after all. ^_^
PrincessLily8402 11
And WHY would you pick them up? It's their mess, let THEM clean it up. Who knows what that stuff is??
eatthefuckingtoa 0
cum.cum.cum. You ******* deserved it.
DjeePee 25
YDI for doing that. Just walk to your dad and say 'can you clean your sperm? It's on the ground, in the tissues. Thanks'.