Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
Today, I have a bad cold, so I've been carrying tissues around with me. I noticed our puppy had pooped on the floor, so I grabbed a napkin and cleaned it up, then threw it away. I then blew my nose with my tissue. Apparently, I threw away my tissue and used the napkin. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML
Today, I had to clean up human poop that someone trailed through the store. Then, as I was cleaning up all the shelves at the end of the day, I saw that someone had changed their sanitary pad, took a new one out of the packed and used it, then left the used one on the shelf. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
It was your dad's semen mixed with either your mom's vaginal secretions or her saliva if she gave him a ******** and spat. YWIA, I am always glad to help people identify unknown bodily fluids.
nomnommonster 0
it was the syrup from their midnight snack.
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Comments (119)
f_alltheirlives 3
One time Big deal! Do you know how many times I have picked up MY brothers from daycare???
TattedDownJah 2
Yo!!! dats jus straight funny as shit, ur parents is some nasty freaks, Lmao
delaney16 0
nit a true fml
cyberpimp 4
Or it was snot from your mothers cold last week.
baby_gurly 0
that's kinda disgusting.
DukeSkidmark 0
YDI: Why are you going into you parents room in the first place? If they wanted you to go into thier room im sure they would have cleaned up thier mess. probably just snot and not what everyone else is thinking...
oOmiyaviOo 0
did you ask to see if either of them was sick?
xxrogerthatxx 19
no, it's prolly skeet
neonskittzy 0
I would have told them to clean up after themselves.. that's just sick I'd never leave anything like that for my kid to pick up.
xdyingxwishx 0
i understand that maybe its part of your chores to take out the trash, but if they can't bother to put it in the trash can, i would have left it there for them to pickup themselves.
poolee0827 1
Comment moderated.
mangocherrypie 0
Lol, I love your use of the word "unkown" for the sticky substance...