Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was lying in bed in a hospital gown, a nurse came to check my vitals. I wasn't wearing any underwear and unbeknownst to me the bottom of my gown had been pulled up. My nurse laughed her head off while pointing this out to me as I covered myself, mortified after accidentally flashing her with my tiny dick. FML
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML
Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML
Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML
Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML
Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, I asked a guy to change into a gown for an X-ray exam. I asked him to leave his underwear on, everything else off. Apparently he was going commando, as he left skid marks on my table when the exam was over. FML
Today, when I was visiting my dad in the ICU, the nurse was trying to help him sit upright and his dick and balls plopped out of his hospital gown for everyone to see. FML
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Top comments
MyPupRox 2
Better than glow in the dark unicorns.
Muwahaha_fml 4
It could be worse-granny panties.
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Comments (131)
THE_A_TEEN 28
So you went to see DocBastard, you thought he was cute, and he found your glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing? Is that what he's been doing to get laid now?
flockz 20
well this is great! now he doesn't have to waste a paper bag when you two inevitably have sex. simply turn off the lights and he knows where he has to go. i imagined an airplane pilot in a way. "excuse me ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. we're going to have to make an emergency landing in a very dense jungle. but luckily, there is a swamp full of glowing skulls to guide us. but just to be safe, put on your gas masks and wet suits just in case, we don't know how many souls have been lost in there." that's how i feel it basically went down.
lustheart 7
Epic. *******. Win. Marry me?
flockz 20
oh really? i usually tend to creep girls out. were you really talking to me?
SmittyJA24 26
As a (former) health care professional, I can assure you, OP, the cute MD enjoyed every moment of your visit, novelty panties & all ... but you have NO chance of scoring a date unless you get introduced outside of his work zone. No matter how hot you are (& I'm sure you are), his professional ethics come first. (pun kinda intended)
lustheart 7
Nice profile... You have a meetingarrangement.com profile also?
lustheart 7
Reference as a joke. Not looking for a "sugar daddy." thanks.
lifelessons22222 0
Wtf who picks people up in a hospital...
EnterSandman_fml 20
My girlfriend's cousin is a nurse, and she's actually dated patients.
cj1169 13
This is a bad thing?
atarisrocks 6
I got the same pair if it primark ones
kickyc 14
I think I do as well, the ones with "Hands Off" on the waistband...
atarisrocks 6
Yeah that then got smiley face ones too with wink wink on the waistband
heartlessj 8
funky music
DocBastard 40
This is why your mother always tells you to wear clean underwear. And if you're wondering, yes we do make fun of the guys wearing neon purple bikini underwear, and yes we do make fun of misspelled tattoos.
Lawzen_Rainbow 7
primark underwear. I has them
specialcai_ 7
Me too... ha
chengy4191 7
Why does he need to see your underwear at the hospital??
murdersquirrel 15
See my above comment in which I discuss the occasion that I had a spinal tap and had been wearing embarrassing undies. This is probably not the case with OP but in an emergency situation, all a patient's clothes could get cut off. If it's in the way, it goes.
DocBastard 40
Because good doctors who know what they are doing actually do full, thorough physical examinations. That means even seeing your naughty bits. There's nothing remotely sexual about it.