Intimacy: Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I...

By paulwatson93 - 17/05/2011 04:28 - United States

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 358

You deserved it 51 820

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Same thing different taste

By lexiiiiiiweee - 19/02/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 660

You deserved it 3 826

By moobysrocks - 20/02/2010 18:58 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 075

You deserved it 9 630

By oogabooga9 - 08/11/2017 15:00

Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 4 360

By nothing - 18/05/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 680

You deserved it 56 747

By weldingmachine217 - 16/11/2015 21:47 - United States - Blanchard

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 249

You deserved it 3 637

Party hard

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 801

You deserved it 516

Pinned

By STRIKE! - 12/11/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to drop a bowling ball on your foot. Spoiler: It doesn't feel good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 126

By BabeRuth - 20/09/2013 15:33 - United States

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 036

You deserved it 47 815

By owmyballs - 17/12/2009 16:34 - Thailand

Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 083

You deserved it 37 268

Party girl

By not-so-happy-feet - 14/06/2009 23:41 - Canada

Today, I was at my friend's birthday party, dancing barefoot because my feet hurt from my shoes' heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 092

You deserved it 6 477

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:11

What a crushing story!

anorexicbarbie 8

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:10

It took you two crushed nuts to find that out?

Comments

Riddles66 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:45

You sound like my friends dad... that was one classic day :D

Troll_Doll 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:45

Life's like a box of chocolates. At least you know what you're gonna get, nut-free.

Wheredidgrungego 12

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:50

Holy shit. This made me cringe and grab my balls to make sure they were okay. Worst visual image ever.

e2m2cent 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:53

well u ballsed that up :)

CloudEnvy 17

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:02

Surely even the drunk don't deserve such a crushing failure.

TabzTheLoserKidd 4

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:05

Tsk Tsk!

Jamialia 5

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:11

HA!!!

iLazy 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:18

epic fail?

CarleeBugg123 5

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:21

Well that's graceful!

cab227 2

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:24

obviously you don't think when drunk.

OCDC 9

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:21

Obviously NOBODY thinks when they're drunk.

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The Top

Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 904

You deserved it 2 783

Today, right before the most important final of my education, I got a text from my mom saying my house had burned to the ground, and my children were outside waiting for the firemen. I panicked, left school, and sped home… all for her to laugh and tell me it was “just a joke.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 59

The Top

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 003

You deserved it 4 133

Today, I spent my entire paycheck on a new summer wardrobe. I then left my shopping bags on the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 343

You deserved it 38 253

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 526

You deserved it 12 149

Today, I have to show my boss daily reports on my work over the last three months. She told me this yesterday. They're mandatory, but nobody has ever wanted to see them in the three years I've been working here, so I have long since stopped doing them. It's now 3 am, I start work at 7.30, and I'm not even close to done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 689

Today, I travelled cross-country to interview for my dream job. The team seemed to love me and I had a lot of fun. In the airport on the way home I saw a news report that the company is closing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 751

You deserved it 577

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 953

You deserved it 7 318

Same thing different taste

Party hard

Pinned

Party girl

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