Intimacy: Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I...

By paulwatson93 - 17/05/2011 04:28 - United States

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 362

You deserved it 51 855

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By lexiiiiiiweee - 19/02/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 666

You deserved it 3 837

By moobysrocks - 20/02/2010 18:58 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 082

You deserved it 9 639

By oogabooga9 - 08/11/2017 15:00

Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 4 373

By nothing - 18/05/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 683

You deserved it 56 763

By weldingmachine217 - 16/11/2015 21:47 - United States - Blanchard

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 259

You deserved it 3 645

Party hard

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 557

Pinned

By STRIKE! - 12/11/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to drop a bowling ball on your foot. Spoiler: It doesn't feel good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 129

My greatest party trick [DEROGATORY]

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 16:00 - Ireland

Today, I was drunkenly showing my juggling skills at a party with three apples. I nailed it until one flew out of my hand, hit a guest in the face, and knocked their drink all over the host’s new beige couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 515

By BabeRuth - 20/09/2013 15:33 - United States

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 037

You deserved it 47 822

By owmyballs - 17/12/2009 16:34 - Thailand

Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 084

You deserved it 37 275

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:11

What a crushing story!

anorexicbarbie 8

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:10

It took you two crushed nuts to find that out?

Comments

dudemansoccer 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:06

I still don't get what happened

CateXOX 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:11

I don't really get how OP "crushed his nuts" with the ball, unless he was lying on his back and dropped the bowling ball on himself.

Bano360 25

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:23

Or ya know, sitting on a seat whilst spinning the ball.

prince122 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:03

I think after that he attempted to spin the bowling ball to spin of the tip of his penis which ended with testicles being crushed.

jdeshnerx3 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 17:48

wow you're dumb lol

trav747 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 18:39

dumbass

CateXOX 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:07

Heavy, shiny balls referring to the bowling balls, not your lack of balls, correct?

Fuk_Your_Life 2

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:14

Idiot

livin_plur 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 6:48

well since he's lacking balls the only ones he could talk about were the bowling balls

anorexicbarbie 8

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:10

It took you two crushed nuts to find that out?

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:11

What a crushing story!

rakooligan 11

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:45

I know! OP must be nuts!

slightlypyro1996 4

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:56

such a smashing defeat!

OceanProtection 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 18:37

Care to teach me how to raise my nuts while holding a cup? :/. Havin issues here

freelove_fml 2

Tuesday 17 May 2011 22:53

Just google "2 nuts 1 cup".

snippyxD 7

Wednesday 18 May 2011 0:50

Dude, shut up.

mrahhhhh 21

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:13

I sincerely hope you smashed your balls beyond repair. You deserve the Darwin award for that shit, and the only way to qualify is to take yourself out of the gene pool.

DjeePee 24

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:53

That's what I was thinking. We should all be glad OP crushed his own balls. Not only because otherwise innocent balls were harmed, but merely because we don't want people with his intellect breeding.