Miscellaneous: Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents...

By Shelle - 26/12/2012 08:53 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 032

You deserved it 2 753

Miscellaneous

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Batman

Mama's boy

No thanks

By Anonymous - 26/02/2020 20:00

Today, I ask the guy that I like if he want to go to lunch tomorrow at a local restaurant. He answer that he doesn't like their food. I think that's is a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 300

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 02:20 - United States

Today, while arguing with my boyfriend about how I wasn't a bad driver and could parallel park, I decided it was easier to just let him do it. Unfortunately, while getting out of the car to switch seats, I forgot to take the car out of drive and it ran into the car in front of us. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 295

You deserved it 31 786

By Nico - 12/11/2011 15:42 - France

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 727

You deserved it 3 653

By sore - 04/01/2010 11:30 - France

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 636

You deserved it 3 849

By ihateeverything - 14/01/2015 17:35 - United States - Granbury

Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 428

You deserved it 8 423

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 215

You deserved it 2 852

By mylifesucks22 - 29/12/2009 06:01 - United States

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream. I dreamt that I got a promotion at work and doubled my income, the dream was so great that I tried so hard not to wake up. When I did wake up it was 10 o'clock, two hours late for work I noticed I had a voicemail from my boss. I was fired for being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 523

You deserved it 32 107

By Canonlizardjet - 13/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Ormond Beach

Today, I had a near-death experience. Went to print a document and a lizard shot out of the printer right out at me. Gives a whole new meaning to a Canon printer, a fricking lizard Canon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 515

You deserved it 563

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 03:27 - United States - San Ramon

Today, my leadership class was trying to decide who would run the kissing booth in our local carnival. Someone suggested me, to which the director replied, "We'd never make any profit with her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 846

You deserved it 3 050

By Anonymous - 03/11/2011 06:22 - Australia

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 092

You deserved it 4 181

By Anonymous - 27/06/2015 18:56 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 862

You deserved it 2 242

By Anonymous - 06/03/2015 16:51 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 746

You deserved it 2 328

Whine whine whine

By Anonymous - 11/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, it snowed. Rather than enjoy the view, my roommate had to complain every five minutes about the mentally challenged neighbor shovelling snow all day long. As long as he doesn't shovel it into my yard, I really don't care what he does to pass the time in lockdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 63

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 21:22 - Canada

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 963

You deserved it 50 500

By Anonymous - 28/02/2010 14:26 - South Africa

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he was going to make it to our first child's Christening as there was a football match on at the same time. Without hesitating, he replyed that he would just watch the recording. He meant the recording of the Christening. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 411

You deserved it 6 368

By Anonymous - 27/03/2018 22:00 - United States - Papillion

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me with my best friend. He actually had the balls to say her leg was asleep and he was trying to wake it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 337

You deserved it 338

By anonymous - 16/08/2013 14:05 - United States - Grandville

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 572

You deserved it 3 318

By uglyallover - 20/09/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing a game where you ask sexual questions and you have to give an honest answer. At one point, I asked my boyfriend what his favorite position is, to which he quickly answered with no hesitation, "Any one where I don't have to see your face or body." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 193

You deserved it 4 418

By Anonymous - 22/02/2013 02:56 - United States - New York

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 641

You deserved it 51 360

By Anonymous - 02/04/2013 10:30 - United States - Beaumont

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 394

You deserved it 8 344

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 06:31 - United Kingdom - Evesham

Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 000

You deserved it 2 388

By pussystroker - 19/11/2009 17:20 - United Kingdom

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 201

You deserved it 3 978

By OrlandoZ6 - 25/05/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I was laying down on my couch. My friend IM's me on my laptop to watch a video. It turned out that the video was one of those scary pop up's. I got so scared I dropped my laptop. The screen had a big crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 465

You deserved it 10 636

By whatthewhat - 18/11/2009 19:52 - United States

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 121

You deserved it 3 291

By Anonymous - 06/11/2012 02:48 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 329

You deserved it 4 499

By unloved - 01/10/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 286

You deserved it 6 825

By AccidentalToiletSpy - 21/08/2018 20:30

Today, in the bathroom at work, I heard two co-workers enter and begin a very private discussion. Not wanting to embarrass either of them, I figured I'd sit quietly until they left. Big mistake. They talked for an hour and a half. I couldn't feel my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 551

You deserved it 885

By Kitty - 23/04/2009 08:54 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend told me he needed to reconsider coming to see me for financial reasons. I'm the one paying for the airfare, giving him a place to stay, and covering his expenses while he's here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 967

You deserved it 6 786

By allycat - 25/07/2011 03:26 - United States

Today, after a year of suspicion, I finally found out my sister is in a cult. My family's response? "It will be good for her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 513

You deserved it 2 684

My Drug Buddy

By Anonymous - 19/05/2021 15:01 - United States - Shingletown

Today, my husband left me for a girl who seems to have a mental age of 12, because she'll smoke meth with him, and I won't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 91

By Anonymous - 14/01/2016 12:51 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 340

You deserved it 18 346

By oh dear - 25/10/2009 09:06 - France

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 234

You deserved it 5 148

Notice me please

By wut? - 04/05/2020 14:00

Today, my daughter has been locked in her room screaming and sobbing for the past 2 hours. Apparently, I didn’t make a big enough deal of her coming out, so I must not care about her. What I said was I didn’t care if she was gay, and that it wouldn’t change anything. Sorry for being accepting I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 088

You deserved it 212

By Anonymous - 20/03/2013 16:08 - United States - Arlington

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 969

You deserved it 6 475

By santa_maria - 25/08/2011 21:45 - Reunion

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 188

You deserved it 106 562

By MakesMeLol - 18/01/2012 22:30 - Ireland

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 197

You deserved it 6 758

Useless tools

By IronMonkey - 09/06/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 639

You deserved it 7 011

By hardlyworking - 04/03/2011 00:39 - United States

Today, I was on a conference call and digital meeting at work when I got bored and started surfing the Internet. Little did I know that my desktop was being shared. My boss was on the call and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 647

You deserved it 37 680

By NYMTS - 01/07/2011 23:22 - Australia

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 295

You deserved it 10 889

By Anonymous - 17/09/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 859

You deserved it 3 919

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Top comments

gracehi 31

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 15:54

Hey, those could come in handy... You know... If your house ever gets bombed and you happen to be on your period. Don't be so ungrateful.

nycwrestler 17

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 16:26

No. I'm Trevor, your guess was pretty off.

cockymofo 10

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 15:54

better than nothing... or is it?

billyz77 24

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 19:39

I don't know. In a case like this, 'nothing' is looking pretty damn good.

gracehi 31

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 15:54

Hey, those could come in handy... You know... If your house ever gets bombed and you happen to be on your period. Don't be so ungrateful.

kelseygoesrawr 8

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 17:41

It'll also be nice to still have lipstick after her house is bombed, because I'm pretty sure that the gift was meant to be a lipstick case. The metal ones tend to be intricately designed and I could see someone thinking one would make a good gift.

sens3sfailing 24

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Thursday 27 December 2012 10:54

Or they meant to get them tampon cases because they are loony

kelseygoesrawr 8

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Friday 28 December 2012 1:03

I've honestly never heard of metal tampon cases, which is why I posted what I did. Excuse me everyone for pointing out the op could've been mistaken.

nycwrestler 17

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 15:56

Hmm could it be you? No, no, that's not right. Ohh is it Justin Bieber and his sister? That must be it!

sarah6786 14

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 17:17

I don't get it.

subwaysurfers 13

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 17:21

Probably thought he'd get thumbed up for insulting Justin Bieber...

nycwrestler 17

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 17:34

Yeah, that was the plan

barefootchic 6

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 18:30

Whooo. Lets insult people because we dislike their music. Death to people who are different. 'Merica.

LiterOfCola 16

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 19:31

Fuck you barefootchic

high_tower87 9

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 15:56

At least you're closer to your in-laws now

twinkiefeets 17

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 15:56

Metal? Shouldn't it be made of plastic?

nycwrestler 17

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 16:01

It's a tampon case.. A metal tampon is just.. Well I'm not a girl but I would imagine it would hurt a bit.

gracehi 31

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 16:22

9, You're joking, right?

nycwrestler 17

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 16:26

No. I'm Trevor, your guess was pretty off.

gracehi 31

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 16:28

Oh. Well that clears that up, then.

desireev 17

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 18:31

Yes, this is Dog.

vencku 13

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 18:33

Wouldn't a metal tampon be useless anyway? I can't see it being very absorbing. (And yes, I did read OP said she got a case. I'm just responding to the comment above mine.)