Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
NothingsEasy 4
And that's why you don't over drink ladies and gentleman
yoursucklives 36
that was bound to fail.
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Comments (116)
lottie333 0
yano whats funny the fact his name is sprinklerdodger and she tried to. sprinkle haha and missed xD
greeneyedpothead 10
Well, maybe you shouldn't write if you can't "handle" writing correctly either.
fenixtorador1 11
That's attractive...
ohmandapants 17
Oh the irony...please don't ever call someone else stupid ever again.
crazyluvbug 8
I've done it before, it's possible. I had a bad injury once down there when I was young ( bike accident) and I had to figure out a way to pee with out it burning the cut I had, because sitting and peeing made me scream in pain and cry. Basically you have to straddle it... Sorry if this is TMI for some ppl.
Wayne913 13
Lol. Hello Black Mail.
Foxtails 6
I once had a friend come back from the bathroom and tell me she had tried to pee like a boy, but "got stuck." I'm not sure how she was doing it, but I'm 99.5% sure she was doing it incorrectly.
osteobabe 13
The device you're thinking of is called a SheWee, it's a cardboard funnel. In my experience it has unfortunately never worked (out of festival desperation I have tried and failed multiple times).
sugarbear0727 19
I've been able to pee standing up. Granted I was standing over the toilet bowl. But I succeeded.
Randomness90 27
both my mother and my aunt can pee standing up, outside like a guy if they have too.