Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, at our usual family gathering, Big Grandpa, the family patriarch, said with his loud super authoritative voice, "Hey! Where is granddaughter?" I responded, "Here, Grandpa!" He then disgruntledly yelled, "NO! I meant my PRETTY granddaughter!" FML
Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say hi to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, none of us had any idea that our grandfather was a huge racist until I brought my new girlfriend over to a family gathering, and he started yelling because she's Indian, some of the most disgusting racial slurs I’ve ever heard. We left when it looked like he might actually hit her. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, against my wishes, my wife insisted we let my horrible mother meet her first grandson. This is a woman who refuses to learn basic English, but for the sake of insulting my wife who doesn’t speak Chinese, she still managed to say in English, “Baby so ugly, you do better with next one.” FML
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Top comments
kotton720 0
wow hardly anyone can speak chinese fluently nowadays.
amelinat 0
You know it sounds like Mr. Black man was more annoyed by the fact that granma specifically mentioned that he was black. My grandma doesnt speak English either and she would have said the exact same thing. Has anyone seen that "Professor Badass" picture that floats around the net? Thats the picture I have in my mind for this guy.
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Comments (187)
lifepwns 0
lol pwnt
This_Guy 0
#17, I'm Chinese and I tell people I'm speaking Chinese. I don't I ever heard a Chinese refer to it as either mandarin or cantonese unless someone asks them what dialect they speak or unless they're speaking in Chinese in the first place.
frondew 0
OH SNAP
ohdamn_fml 2
I hate when people speak in another language assuming you won't understand.
Jasper_fml 0
um... not an fml.
pokipoki 0
#17: chinese is chinese. who the hell specifies chinese as mandarin or cantonese in an english speaking country? when you tell them you speak mandarin or cantonese to people who're not familiar with chinese language, they'll be like "is mandarin kinda like chinese?" *ni ming bai ma?* obviously you don't live in an english speaking country or haven't been exposed to non-chinese community. i hate when people try to make up stupid arguments and then accuse that an fml is fake based on them. makes me want to bitch slap somebody.
sunshyne84_fml 0
granny shoulda repeated herself cuz obviously he didnt comprehend the first time
fyourl 0
#29 it was on The King Of Queens, lol
hsmiles 0
HA! Good for him!
CTL_fml 0
The thing is, he was probably assuming she was speaking in Chinese because she didn't think he'd understand him. The way some girls in my school used to switch to Chinese when I walked in to a room because they thought I couldn't understand them. But since she only speaks Chinese it's not such a big deal. My mother complains in every single language she knows in the hope that the person will understand her.