Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, at our usual family gathering, Big Grandpa, the family patriarch, said with his loud super authoritative voice, "Hey! Where is granddaughter?" I responded, "Here, Grandpa!" He then disgruntledly yelled, "NO! I meant my PRETTY granddaughter!" FML
Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say hi to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, none of us had any idea that our grandfather was a huge racist until I brought my new girlfriend over to a family gathering, and he started yelling because she's Indian, some of the most disgusting racial slurs I’ve ever heard. We left when it looked like he might actually hit her. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, against my wishes, my wife insisted we let my horrible mother meet her first grandson. This is a woman who refuses to learn basic English, but for the sake of insulting my wife who doesn’t speak Chinese, she still managed to say in English, “Baby so ugly, you do better with next one.” FML
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Top comments
kotton720 0
wow hardly anyone can speak chinese fluently nowadays.
amelinat 0
You know it sounds like Mr. Black man was more annoyed by the fact that granma specifically mentioned that he was black. My grandma doesnt speak English either and she would have said the exact same thing. Has anyone seen that "Professor Badass" picture that floats around the net? Thats the picture I have in my mind for this guy.
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Comments (187)
intoxicant 0
@17, @53; it's been mentioned several times prior, but it's generally easiest to just say "oh, i speak chinese" when talking to most people, then further specify if they ask. a lot of people don't care beyond that or even know the difference... OP prolly phrased it that way as most FML readers aren't going be like "OHLOL UR FAEK COS U SAY CHINESE NT MANDRIN"
isantorin 0
#4 except for the most populated country in the world? lol. #53 I'm Chinese, I call it Chinese, I live in a heavily Chinese populated area (over 88% woohoo), I can speak very fluently in Chinese, so stop trying to be everyone's voice, kthx. Btw, I see you haven't quite gotten the hang of English yet? : ) haha OP that sucks, my grandmother does things like that all the time! XDD;; Just brush it off and apologize to the guy for her.
musicislife_fml 0
...anyone ever see the movie Crash? Watch it.. =] ....and 56... LOL. Thanks for, uh, looking out for us, though.
Endymion_fml 0
Is no one going to support the old lady? Talking really loud on a mobile phone waiting in a queue is exceedingly rude.
thebigO_fml 0
HAHAHAHA! WTG black guy!
mothfather 0
LOL. what an awesome guy.
SilverBallet 0
Ha ha. I love it when that happens. That's the exact reason I've started learning different languages. :)
paperplanes92 0
#10 u dipshit. having him be educated doesnt mean he wouldnt be pissed off because she said something that offended him, that being said, i dont think that having someone point out your race is rude, learning not to talk about race is what makes this country so racist.
theWalrus_fml 0
What's with the racist comments? It's not racist to describe the colour of a man's skin, just to discriminate against him for it. As far as I can tell, she was annoyed with his behaviour, not his skin colour. And if you only speak one language, who is to say you would or would not have said the same thing in English, if you could? Some cultures are simply more blunt than others.
Occam 0
That guy is literally the greatest.