Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, at our usual family gathering, Big Grandpa, the family patriarch, said with his loud super authoritative voice, "Hey! Where is granddaughter?" I responded, "Here, Grandpa!" He then disgruntledly yelled, "NO! I meant my PRETTY granddaughter!" FML
Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say hi to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, none of us had any idea that our grandfather was a huge racist until I brought my new girlfriend over to a family gathering, and he started yelling because she's Indian, some of the most disgusting racial slurs I’ve ever heard. We left when it looked like he might actually hit her. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, against my wishes, my wife insisted we let my horrible mother meet her first grandson. This is a woman who refuses to learn basic English, but for the sake of insulting my wife who doesn’t speak Chinese, she still managed to say in English, “Baby so ugly, you do better with next one.” FML
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Top comments
kotton720 0
wow hardly anyone can speak chinese fluently nowadays.
amelinat 0
You know it sounds like Mr. Black man was more annoyed by the fact that granma specifically mentioned that he was black. My grandma doesnt speak English either and she would have said the exact same thing. Has anyone seen that "Professor Badass" picture that floats around the net? Thats the picture I have in my mind for this guy.
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Comments (187)
Triad_fml 0
????????
Asstonia 1
!!!!!!!!!!!
kay188 0
Damn. That black man is my hero.
victory25 0
I know right!
Green_Eyes_Pwn 0
My thoughts exactly.
philipino 24
He be a blasian.
biebahood 15
yup, same!!
123_GO 0
#10, you need to get out more. Chinese is actually a huge advantage when getting jobs right now. Also, just because people are educated, it doesnt' mean they aren't obnoxious. In fact, I find that more educated people are more obnoxious.... I don't think this story isn BS. Once i was walking in SF and a little black kid came up to me and started speaking mandarin to me. He was enrolled in Chinese school.
123_GO 0
Oh, also, #7, it's actually quie common to do that, especially with older generations. it's what i love about my people!
eccentricchic 5
U love that your people r rude???
maddog_fml 0
Hahaha! Pwned! # 10 This man could be a businessman, who want to know what he is talking about, so that he won't be ******.
texmas 0
Oh, racist grandmas who refuse to learn english even though they've lived in this country for ages.
gman90210 18
What about all the racist black people that live in this country their whole lives and still don't acknowledge that white people have now business here. Look at the news do you see gangs of white people randomly killing blacks and stealing from them
rfagal 0
being chinese, we only refer to our language as "mandarin" or "cantonese" hardly ever "chinese".. so.. from what it looks like this is made up.
lisafannypack 0
what?!? i'm chinese too- i never ever refer to it as mandarin, always chinese and the poster below me agrees with me too so i wouldn't call "BS" so quickly
CTL_fml 0
#17 - that's complete BS. I say I speak Chinese because very few people actually know that there are so many dialects in China, and that if I do say which one that it's going to be relevant because they're not going to know which region the dialect comes from. When writing, I'd even say I study Zhongwen as opposed to Putonghua.
Brolin 4
I gave you a you deserved that one, pointed towards your grandma though
dragon_fml 0
#17, I'm asian, I say "chinese" all the time cause who's gonna know the difference between "mandarin" or "cantonese"? plus my european friend majors in japanese and he is very fluent. the asian language is beneficial if you wish to go into the business field.