Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, at our usual family gathering, Big Grandpa, the family patriarch, said with his loud super authoritative voice, "Hey! Where is granddaughter?" I responded, "Here, Grandpa!" He then disgruntledly yelled, "NO! I meant my PRETTY granddaughter!" FML
Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say hi to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, none of us had any idea that our grandfather was a huge racist until I brought my new girlfriend over to a family gathering, and he started yelling because she's Indian, some of the most disgusting racial slurs I’ve ever heard. We left when it looked like he might actually hit her. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, against my wishes, my wife insisted we let my horrible mother meet her first grandson. This is a woman who refuses to learn basic English, but for the sake of insulting my wife who doesn’t speak Chinese, she still managed to say in English, “Baby so ugly, you do better with next one.” FML
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Top comments
kotton720 0
wow hardly anyone can speak chinese fluently nowadays.
amelinat 0
You know it sounds like Mr. Black man was more annoyed by the fact that granma specifically mentioned that he was black. My grandma doesnt speak English either and she would have said the exact same thing. Has anyone seen that "Professor Badass" picture that floats around the net? Thats the picture I have in my mind for this guy.
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Comments (187)
mac_fml 0
a black man speaking chinese? well thats something you dont see everyday.
raiinbowstarr_ 0
hahahahaah that sucks dude .
psmart101 0
I'm black and i speak chinese. go to hell.
alumfoil 0
They were waiting in line so maybe there were other people in front of them. It's not as if the grandmother said he was loud and annoying BECAUSE he's black, just that specifically the black man in front of them was loud and annoying. And then the guy turns around and proves the grandmother's point. He was being an ass.
Ldy_S_FTW 0
hahaha. no offense, but asians talk SOO much shit in their own language...and I'M asian...but if i had shit to say i would jus say it in english cuz my vietnamese sucks lmao
potentpotable 0
Hey, Chinese people are pretty racist. It's fact. So this really isn't an FML...more of an LOL.
MJC84 0
That Chinese speaking black man is awesome. I wanna meet him.
inktree 0
Haha, racist grandmas for the win. Mine is Greek!
humorizer 14
Guys, the point is that: a. She specified that he was black, meaning it was semi racist. For example, I hate people that talk on the cellphone while you are talking to them (at my work place). But I don't say, "I hate white women and men, and black women and men (these 4 constitute 95% of the offenders), because that's too specific and rude. Instead, I just say I hate cellphone junkies. b. She obviously wouldn't have said it in English if she knew it too. Just because the other person is in your opinion too stupid to learn another language doesn't give you the right to talk about them. Yes, I hate cellphone junkies, but don't try to talk behind their backs in front of them. You got yourself a YDI, but it's aimed for your bigoted grandmother.
route95 0
This is why you don't speak about other people in ANY language...you never know when someone is understanding you! Your g-ma definitely deserved it.