Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, at our usual family gathering, Big Grandpa, the family patriarch, said with his loud super authoritative voice, "Hey! Where is granddaughter?" I responded, "Here, Grandpa!" He then disgruntledly yelled, "NO! I meant my PRETTY granddaughter!" FML
Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say hi to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, none of us had any idea that our grandfather was a huge racist until I brought my new girlfriend over to a family gathering, and he started yelling because she's Indian, some of the most disgusting racial slurs I’ve ever heard. We left when it looked like he might actually hit her. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, against my wishes, my wife insisted we let my horrible mother meet her first grandson. This is a woman who refuses to learn basic English, but for the sake of insulting my wife who doesn’t speak Chinese, she still managed to say in English, “Baby so ugly, you do better with next one.” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kotton720 0
wow hardly anyone can speak chinese fluently nowadays.
amelinat 0
You know it sounds like Mr. Black man was more annoyed by the fact that granma specifically mentioned that he was black. My grandma doesnt speak English either and she would have said the exact same thing. Has anyone seen that "Professor Badass" picture that floats around the net? Thats the picture I have in my mind for this guy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (187)
xbentxlovex 0
thats funny.
KenMcGormick 0
#4 do u mean almost everyone???... obviously english is not ur 1st language
chelseeaa 3
"Everyone" doesnt make any sense on that sentence
coffeentea 0
#17, pah, no. I'm Taiwanese and I use the term "Chinese" for the language all the time. There are many more dialects than those two.
thisismyname_fml 1
#16 saying a black man is a black man is not racist. it's not a slur and it's not like he was bothering her because he was black, he was being an ass. this is no FML for anyone. If it were me when he said that, I would have just repeated what she said about him being obnoxious to his face in English.
gman90210 18
About time some says something that makes sense. And I applaud you for doing so
thisismyname_fml 1
Also #22, if you want to go out of your way to be an ass and criticize the way people write, you should at least take the time to type out full words and punctuate properly. First of all, I don't even see why saying "hardly anyone" is wrong. Secondly, even if it was I'd rather see that thn sum lazy dumass txt spk!!!1!11...
Misanthropist 0
people always assume they're safe when they speak in their native language, and say things they never would otherwise. It's good to know sometimes they get caught!
guinness_fml 0
#6, I looked up that picture. Perfect match For those who haven't seen it: http://ipostr.com/pic-562-Professor-Badass
guinness_fml 0
#25, thanks for ripping on #22 for being an idiot. #22, replacing "hardly anyone" with "almost everyone" gives #4's sentence the exact opposite meaning. Rather than assuming kotton made a mistake and you know better, read it as is. It makes sense, it just might have a different idea than you were thinking. Besides not typing full words, don't ever use more than one question mark at a time. It just looks stupid.
maj_midnightman 0
Guess what. WE KNOW YOUR LANGUAGE NOW! Get pwnd. Props to the dude for frying your grandma, cuz she totally deserved it.
gman90210 18
No you idiot she did not he was being loud and obnoxious like almost all black people and she put him in his place and he had no right to say anything but an apology. To her
maj_midnightman 0
Also: we ARE loud, it's true. Even still, I have found Chinese immigrants to be incredibly racist >.>