Crime, Sports, Awkward and Cops: Misunderstood

Misunderstood

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 02:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, I was jogging and was about to pass a woman ahead of me. I called out I was passing so she wouldn’t be scared. She waited till I was right next to her and pepper-sprayed my eyes while screaming, "Rapist." The cops were there in less than 5 minutes, and even though I was blinded, they still handcuffed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 131

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Same thing different taste

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 02/11/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 202

You deserved it 4 163

Karen strikes again

By Anonymous - 21/05/2022 04:00

Today, a woman maced me from her car window because I was approaching her in a menacing, rapist kind of way. She never happened to consider that my car was in the parking spot right next to hers. She didn’t apologise, just said it was my fault for looking like a rapist, and drove away leaving me half blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 111

Opportunist

By Tmo - 12/08/2023 08:00

Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 121

By Eyesore - 16/04/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 198

You deserved it 86 625

By Spa Catholic - 10/06/2015 12:00 - United States - Taunton

Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 791

You deserved it 2 134

By bet a woman would've been thanked - 07/05/2013 20:21 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 122

You deserved it 3 111

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 375

You deserved it 22 632

Leg it

By BobbyHutchinson - 20/10/2009 15:57 - Australia

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 952

You deserved it 2 845

STRANGER DANGER!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted to help a little girl who was alone and looked lost. All I managed to say was, "Hi my name is…" when she screamed and set off an actual rape alarm in her pocket. I was tackled by about 3 people, while my girlfriend did nothing to help me except laugh and start filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 121

Nutters Inc.

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 17:00

Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 080

You deserved it 182

Bogrbon 27

Wednesday 5 October 2022 5:53

Not sure about the UK’s criminal laws, but it seems like a certain woman needs to be sued and arrested for assault and battery.

HayNow 11

Wednesday 5 October 2022 20:45

Invest in a GoPro while running....just like a dash cam....it'll save ya.

Comments

Bogrbon 27

Wednesday 5 October 2022 5:53

Not sure about the UK’s criminal laws, but it seems like a certain woman needs to be sued and arrested for assault and battery.

Jesse Duff 15

Wednesday 5 October 2022 6:47

wear sports goggles while jogging next time, but definatly press charges

Brightside86 30

Wednesday 5 October 2022 6:55

If this was in the US probably not worth it to sue. Once the media goes public with this people will wonder if you really did rape that women...got to get those clicks.

JasonThorn 20

Wednesday 5 October 2022 12:57

Hopefully there is CCTV in the area to back up his story. But if there is, sue her to oblivion.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 5 October 2022 18:47

So, you made a pass at a woman and she pepper-sprayed you? You need to work on your pick-up lines. "Do you come here often?" is drab and cliché, but it's a start that won't get you chemically assaulted.