Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML
Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year-old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML
Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML
Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
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Top comments
my_fml_account 2
Please drop by the nearest Man-office and hand in your testicles; your dude licence has been revoked.
PB4UGAME 8
I think you mean Bieber.
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Comments (53)
lady_gogo 0
what can I say -- it made me smile.. silly I know.. but wish I heard it.
rachelbrianna25 0
lol. well why did u open a small door in the wall? its not ur house!!
my_fml_account 2
Please drop by the nearest Man-office and hand in your testicles; your dude licence has been revoked.
jewelzgalore 0
******* hilarious, man. This story just made my day.
Nyuu_fml 12
xD Thanks for the laugh.
TheAmazing_fml 0
well then, sir. thts kinda sad. maybe work on screaming like a man ****** haha jk. also its kinda sad ur scared of a four year old... but hey i guess those kids r pretty damn scary....
Sanrio90 8
Aww lol, it sounds cute and funny.
xHaniffax 0
At least you didn't say "I scream like a little girl"
craphappens92 0
Yea think of the guy from Aha! he made paper from his scream
Jehanne_fml 0
I think high-pitched screams from men are charming. Nothing to be ashamed of.