Miscellaneous: Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing...

Anonymous 25 June 2009, 02:06 Canada

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

53 comments

Collection

Wild Nights Out

Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.

Same thing different taste

Anonymous 1 November 2010, 23:56 Canada

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

67 comments

Anonymous 12 February 2016, 00:15 San Francisco, United States

Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML

51 comments

gengiskarn69 12 March 2012, 14:55 United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

86 comments

Anonymous 8 December 2012, 19:30 Long Beach, United States

Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

140 comments

rongo12 11 May 2012, 21:41

Supernatural

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

175 comments

Anonymous 21 October 2010, 21:44 Canada

Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year-old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML

123 comments

Scaredshitless 3 February 2010, 13:48 France

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

96 comments

Spac3Ghost 28 December 2009, 17:08 China

Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML

90 comments

crappy_day 9 January 2010, 02:09 United States

Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML

35 comments

notyouagain 3 October 2010, 07:40 Australia

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML

98 comments

my_fml_account 2

25 June 2009, 10:21

Please drop by the nearest Man-office and hand in your testicles; your dude licence has been revoked.

PB4UGAME 8

27 August 2010, 08:41

I think you mean Bieber.

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Comments (53)

shnibz101 0

25 June 2009, 13:38

LOL!

genius_man16 1

25 June 2009, 15:24

It's okay dude, my voice is a baritone and yet every now and then I can get a super high scream too. *shrug* this is hilarious though, straight to favorites!! :P

blue_biird 0

25 June 2009, 15:33

LOL NICE :D

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

25 June 2009, 15:37

And....? this is so NOT an fml. God, where the **** were the moderators on this one? -.-" I don't get who would put FYL for this, it's not really anything I'd feel sympathetic for. unless, of course, you scream when you ******. in that vase, I feel bad for your girlfriend, she'll feel like she's with a four year old. but, hey, maybe she's into that kinda stuff.

snake_Girl85 0

25 June 2009, 15:43

That's kind of sad, but thank you for saying "a 37 YEAR old", and not "a 37 YEARS old." That drives me nuts. Your less awkward grammar makes me sympathize with you a little more.