Miscellaneous: Today, I was trying on dresses in a stall that requires an employee... - FML

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 3

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 121

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 1 608

04/10/2009 02:56

Today, I was trying on dresses in a stall that requires an employee of the store to have a key to open. After I took off one dress to go to another, an employee quickly opens my door, to give the stall to someone else. The entire store could see me in my granny panties and bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 973

You deserved it 6 516

Mother of the year

Late term

Batman

17/02/2017 16:00

Spicy

Today, my roommate told me that when he takes a shower he likes to swipe the bar of soap in between his butt cheeks, "like a credit card." I use that soap on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 734

You deserved it 1 604

27/02/2019 20:00

Today, one of the customers at work shat all down the side of the toilet and on the floor. They didn’t even try to make it in the bowl. Guess who had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 201

You deserved it 167

FUPA kings

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 18:00

Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 118

15/11/2012 07:23

Spicy

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 327

You deserved it 3 219

26/09/2009 21:23

Today, was my first day at my new job in a shop. 10 minutes after my first customer leaves I realize she managed to steal $200 worth of merchandise while she had me getting stuff for her from the back room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 880

You deserved it 7 795

24/01/2013 00:17

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 002

You deserved it 10 350

OCD FML

By k…… - 13/10/2021 03:00

Today, I watched a tutorial video on YouTube. In the video, the guy had several apps with 50+ red notification dots on them, and it bothered me so much that I couldn’t even finish the video. I couldn’t find a single other video that could help me with my particular issue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 567

12/01/2014 08:03

Today, my wife told my 7-year-old son that he looks just like me. He began crying and said, "I don't want to be ugly like him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 375

You deserved it 4 897

10/12/2010 03:19

Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 239

You deserved it 86 117

02/11/2009 09:03

Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 887

You deserved it 2 329

25/11/2008 18:05

Today, I was going to confess to my best friend that I am madly in love with her. I called her up only to find her crying. She was upset that she might be pregnant with some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 922

You deserved it 2 875

09/10/2013 23:15

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 302

You deserved it 7 094

12/07/2009 03:18

Today, my boyfriend called me and he was very upset, crying that he had been betrayed. He then began to explain that his friend had slept with his ex-girlfriend. I asked why he was so upset, and he said he still loved her, and really thought they were going to be able to work things out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 462

You deserved it 3 577

27/03/2011 17:55

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 295

You deserved it 4 187

19/03/2014 01:07

Today, my boyfriend gave me an anniversary present to mark 5 years of us being together. It was a Mooncup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 666

You deserved it 4 887

28/07/2019 16:00

Today, I got a haircut. I wanted three inches cut off. When the lady finished, she had cut off everything but three inches of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 849

You deserved it 322

10/11/2012 00:30

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 631

You deserved it 3 482

23/12/2010 20:39

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 537

You deserved it 36 537

There's insane and then there's this guy

By Anonymous - 30/03/2020 08:00

Today, my idiot boss, who says he used to be an EMT, thinks that all safety precautions in the company COVID-19 response memo and everything we’ve heard from the WHO and CDC is bull and removed the gloves from everyone’s truck. We’re a plumbing and drain company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 99

02/12/2015 14:34

Today, a police officer pulled me over. He asked me where I was headed, so I jokingly replied, "Probably to jail after you run my name". He laughed and took my information, only to then arrest me for unpaid parking tickets I never received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 913

You deserved it 8 366

12/09/2011 13:52

Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 070

You deserved it 13 943

Relationship goals

By Anonymous - 17/05/2015 05:10

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 418

You deserved it 2 682

01/07/2013 16:10

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 206

You deserved it 11 152

28/05/2013 16:51

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 185

You deserved it 146 631

Nooooob, dude

By Anonymous - 13/06/2021 11:01

Today, I found out that the automatic message on the bottom of my email that I use for work is the signature, and can be changed, but for the past year I've used it, it's been an 'Get Outlook for Android' ad link the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 729

19/11/2011 17:50

Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 384

You deserved it 5 101

Whoops

By CheLi - 08/12/2009 05:09

Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad and I were sitting in the living room, when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There is some creepy hobo man outside, messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 869

You deserved it 41 052

07/02/2011 06:52

Today, I found out that FedEx delivered my $700 package to the wrong person. The person who signed for it didn't even spell my name right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 347

You deserved it 2 598

05/09/2011 17:04

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 265

You deserved it 10 229

24/12/2016 21:27

Today, I realized that the girl I like only replies to my snapchats if I include my dog in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 783

You deserved it 1 667

06/11/2018 13:30

Today, I got a blue screen of death on my brand new computer. Why? My parents installed an "anti-virus" before I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 942

You deserved it 224

GHOSTS!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 05:01

Today, my mother interrogated me about the duct tape, that I'd put on my foot for a wart, having fallen off. I tried to explain that my foot was just sweaty. She responded by arguing that the duct tape falling off was a "supernatural event". I really wish I could afford my own place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 59

05/06/2009 07:43

Spicy

Today, I had the closing shift at work in a cafe and there was a man and lady left. I made them coffee and started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee she grabbed my arm and said 'I think that man is masturbating' and leaves in a hurry. I had to wait for him to finish before closing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 421

You deserved it 4 297

22/02/2009 15:10

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 377

You deserved it 5 679

08/09/2015 22:33

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I'm self-conscious about my B-cup breasts. About 20 minutes later, he pointed to another girl with a small chest and said, "See, you're not the only one with small tits!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 747

You deserved it 2 854

Itchy butt

By peachezthelette - 27/12/2020 19:58

Today, while at work, I had to explain over the phone to my 33-year-old boyfriend how to use Preparation H. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 98

02/08/2012 00:06

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 438

You deserved it 2 604

19/02/2013 22:03

Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 315

You deserved it 27 034

25/04/2015 07:57

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she'd leave me for her ex in a heartbeat. Tomorrow is, or should I say "was", our wedding day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 910

You deserved it 2 387

08/11/2010 10:32

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 744

You deserved it 3 294

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Sunday 4 October 2009 10:12

and how the hell does she deserve it ? it was the employees fault for opening the door....

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Sunday 4 October 2009 11:20

see, really it was all part of the store's master plan. they knew they had you hooked on the dress, but they wanted to squeeze every last penny out of you by making you buy some new underwear too :-P they just had to find a way to make you ashamed of your panties... :-P

Comments

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Sunday 4 October 2009 9:10

FIRST

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Monday 5 October 2009 1:53

PICS?

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Sunday 15 August 2010 7:36

who give a fucck if your 1st.. look I am third in the list BIATCH!! and ya op I love granny panties SO COMFY!! lol embarrising every one say

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Tuesday 5 October 2010 1:45

Get that failure employee fired.

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Thursday 22 January 2015 18:17

Idiot, it's a app who the fuck cares? get a life

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Sunday 4 October 2009 9:12

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

4ddie 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 16:45

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

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Saturday 6 February 2010 14:37

seriously.

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Thursday 10 June 2010 23:42

I agreeee

brunettesara5722 17

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Sunday 22 May 2011 17:05

that was my first thought haha

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Wednesday 18 January 2012 3:39

Ya I thought that two, bitch

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Saturday 6 June 2015 20:32

I'm a guy but those seem comfortable...so go take your thongs and go somewhere else, sluts

Alice_Cullen7 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 9:13

oh that sux! that was so the store employees fault!

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Sunday 4 October 2009 9:14

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

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Sunday 4 October 2009 9:24

I agree. You, sir/ma'am, are a logical thinker!

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Sunday 4 October 2009 10:16

Even if you aren't ashamed of yourself, it's an FML because, you know, some people DON'T like everyone seeing them in their undies. I know I certainly don't, but I do love my body. It's a little something called the value of privacy. Though I agree the whole store probably couldn't see her. Most dressing rooms I've been to are hidden from whole-store view, even a few mall ones. Still, that dumb bitch should knock. You're supposed to knock, or.. well, don't most of them hang something on the handle to show someone's in there already?

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Sunday 4 October 2009 11:22

lmao #4, sounds like something i would say if i saw that :L

M13LO 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 9:18

no no you have it all wrong, the employee just wanted to give you some company

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Sunday 4 October 2009 18:20

lol maybe

PandaPandaPandaX 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 9:21

Haha I'm just waiting for someone to call out 'THREESOME!' :P

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 7:07

THREESOME

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Sunday 15 August 2010 7:38

you are a fail 72 .. but it's all good! love ya!! c u in bed!

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Sunday 4 October 2009 9:23

Atleast you wern't nude... THAT would've been embarrising!

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Sunday 4 October 2009 22:16

Tjis has happend to me..In hot topic the guy opend the door to "t get the shoe he thought some one had left" and I was im a thong.. and a bra. on my way out I heard him talking to people about what he had done

cryssycakesx3 22

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Sunday 18 May 2014 4:41

so you weren't nude and this didn't happen to you...

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Sunday 4 October 2009 9:23

i feel more sorry for the entire store that had to see a pair of wrinkly and saggy granny boobs

Sun_Kissed18 25

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Sunday 4 October 2009 22:43

She never said she was old, younger people can wear them too. There used to be this girl I saw in the locker room that would wear them. I never understood it because she could have pulled off anything else but hey, whatever floats your boat. :)

Lightz_Camera_Me 0

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Sunday 4 October 2009 9:26

Granny panties? ppl still wear those lol =)

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Sunday 4 October 2009 9:31

You really shouldn't borrow your grandma's underwear if your going clothes shopping. I also hope your granny didn't borrow yours and is walking around in a g-string. *vomits*