Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML
Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML
Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML
Today, I found out that my mother was having an affair with my boss "to help me keep my job" because she thought I was useless. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is seeing a marriage counselor. With her ex. FML
Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML
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Top comments
chickchick_fml 0
Okay, but did she say it was a prisoner?
lyndis_fml 0
You moron, do you honestly believe your mother is the only employee of the prison? Yeah. Other people work there too. Unless you're saying there's something wrong with prison employees (which includes your own mother), you're a ******* dumbass.
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Comments (71)
eatmydust 0
how did she meet someone through her work if she quit her job? I;m probably misreading this, but she quit her job because she met someone through work?
jmoose311 3
It was probably your fault they got divorced, so YDI.
perdix 31
I'll bet your stepdad-to-be is a real ladykiller. Lots of guys are in prison because they are brimming with testosterone and that gets them into trouble with the law. I'll bet your dad is a limp-dick emo boy like you, so your mom just wanted some real man meat. Holiday ought to be festive. Make sure you always have a shank ready.
xoxcinderellaxox 0
chill out, just because she met someone at work doesn't mean it's a prisoner. also, if your mom really decided to date a prisoner at least you can tell people that if they mess with you you'll tell your mom's bf.
Residence_fml 4
Maybe your dad-to-be is a fraud and has millions of dollars on a secret bank account :) just look at it in a positive way
TheLoneWolf87 4
Hey who knows, she never said a convict, it could be a guard or prison warden. But then again, what's the difference?
damnrosi 0
very likely that it is someone who works there, or something, not one of the convicts. But if it is, I feel bad for your mom, how horrible was life with her husband if she is willing to be with a criminal instead of him?
LauraMorgan26 0
it probably is a co-worker not an inmate I feel sorry for your mum, obviously her life with your dad was pretty terrible.
teiso_fml 0
She probably means someone else who works at prison, not an actual prisoner.
fnyunj 3
Hope he's a convict. Prison guards are scum. Too cowardly to make it in the Army. Too undisciplined to make it as a cop. Too dependent to make it in private security (they need the Union and the management structure to keep them "safe and warm"). Too weak to make it as a professional criminal. Yet, they just HAVE to have a job where they can carry a gun and abuse people. Prison Guard is their last option. You know how convicts get their drugs and weapons in prison? The guards. Duh. You know how the convicts PAY the guards? The guards "get to" screw the convicts ho's on the outside. This is why prison guards have the highest incidence of Hepititis C and HIV infection of any other profession.