Intimacy: Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears.... - FML

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 12:40 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 041

You deserved it 8 432

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Looking good

By Kbizz - 03/06/2010 02:12 - Canada

Today, I was excited about showing everyone at work my new piercing. It's in an interesting place in my ear, and it's not that common. Before I had the chance to tell anyone about it, someone asked, "Are you wearing a hearing aid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 571

You deserved it 32 388

By caempa - 29/12/2010 18:13 - Australia

Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 843

You deserved it 13 639

By ouchouchouch - 28/03/2012 04:16 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 516

You deserved it 9 025

By lostbandana - 03/07/2011 02:15 - United States

Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 337

You deserved it 3 945

Piercing wit

By piercingfreak - 28/08/2011 10:41 - New Zealand

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 868

You deserved it 4 112

By High school senior - 31/08/2017 23:15

Today, I spent the first day of my senior year in the ER because my new ear piercing got so infected that the doctors had to cut the earring out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 723

You deserved it 938

Ouch

By Anonymous - 24/05/2014 06:08 - United States

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 837

You deserved it 37 043

By wowawesome - 18/07/2019 16:00

Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 360

By Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 105

You deserved it 429

By ouch - 24/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Sterling

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 339

You deserved it 3 313

Next

Top comments

rukusrazor 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:21

Shes should know.

pancakelover 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:22

WTF MOM!?!?! Moms always say shit at the wrong time...

Comments

GiveMeLife 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 1:43

HAHA, that's awesome.

shroomis 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 1:52

#11 is a d-bag...that was still funny

marlux 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 1:54

ahahah go mom

Stickfigureguy 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 1:58

Epic Fail!

AnneFTW 17

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:02

LOL Mothers are idiots XD

ilovefml_ra 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:12

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

ilovefml_ra 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:12

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

wowfmlxten 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 3:08

haha. thats what she said.! more like. thats what your mom. said

Lou_Briccant 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 3:30

hahahha, anal sex references are high-larious.

jSOPURE 3

Tuesday 19 May 2009 4:20

One word solution. Shocker. :)

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Keywords

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The Top

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You deserved it 5 703

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I agree, your life sucks 20 208

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I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 106

Today, I came home, raced upstairs, and yelled to my roomie that I'd found some blow for the party tonight. It was only after he left his room and punched me that I remembered he had a virtual interview today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 1 126

Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 328

Today, the older I get, the more I realise my mom has screwed up my ability to have sex. She used to beat me if she thought I was having impure thoughts, and though she died years ago, when I try to have sex with my girlfriend I hear mom's voice in my head and I go limp. I can’t even masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 144