Today, the older I get, the more I realise my mom has screwed up my ability to have sex. She used to beat me if she thought I was having impure thoughts, and though she died years ago, when I try to have sex with my girlfriend I hear mom's voice in my head and I go limp. I can’t even masturbate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML
Today, my 79-year-old mom who has Alzheimer's fondly remembered all the wild sex she had with me back in the 1960s. I wasn't born then. She thinks I'm my dad, who died 15 years ago. In all of our conversations now, she talks to me as if she is talking to her husband and some of the talks turn racy. FML
Today, my wife and I are having marital/intimacy issues. My 72 year-old mom basically told me to touch my wife, to hug her more, caress her lovingly, and pat her bottom, etc. Thanks mom, I'll grab her ass, that'll make it all better. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to yell at me because she thought she heard me having sex, saying I'm too young for it. I'm 23 and I wasn't having sex. The noises were from my dad watching porn in the next room. FML
Today, I found out my parents still enjoy sex in their 60s, whereas my wife put an end to our sex life because she was tired of faking her orgasms. I had no idea she was faking, I thought our sex life was good, if she’d have told me I’d have done something about it. FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, as I was approaching climax with the girl of my dreams, my mom walked in to ask if I had her car keys, took one look and told me I need to get out, find a real woman and stop watching porn with my headphones on, so I can hear when people are climbing the stairs to my room. FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today my mother, who was once shocked to realise that my older sister was having unmarried sex, told me to go and 'get some' because it's good for my health. I'm asexual. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
Yeah, you need therapy that is well above that of most therapists’ pay grade.
Anderling 33
I’m so sorry to hear that. Have you ever sought out help for this? I doubt this was the only mental scar your mother left, so starting with regular therapy would be a safe bet, but there are also sex therapists out there who might be able to give you more specific, targeted psychotherapy to help with this particular issue. You don’t have to give up or go through this alone.
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Comments (5)
poopface82 25
Yeah, you need therapy that is well above that of most therapists’ pay grade.
Anderling 33
I’m so sorry to hear that. Have you ever sought out help for this? I doubt this was the only mental scar your mother left, so starting with regular therapy would be a safe bet, but there are also sex therapists out there who might be able to give you more specific, targeted psychotherapy to help with this particular issue. You don’t have to give up or go through this alone.
RichardPencil 32
Thinking about your mom during sex? Freud would have a field day with that one.
some_dumb_kid46 7
I'm sorry this isn't helpful at all but why are people finding this funny?
ODBeefalo 10
because the words: sex, mom and limp are all in there and some people break into laughter at such words like children... it would be funny if not for the part about op getting beat as a kid.
protoskore 27
as an alternative to therapy, try pegging