Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a "fat girl's bike." FML
Today, I tried to show my little cousin how to ride a bike without training wheels. Not only did I crash into a bush, but the handlebars hit me in the nuts, and I ended up rolling around like a Labrador in shit in front of the neighbors. FML
Today, I was showing my 6-year-old son how easy and safe it is to ride a bike. I didn't notice a pebble, bust up my leg, and my son is now terrified of bicycles. FML
Today, I assembled my kid’s birthday bike without reading the instructions. I proudly presented it, only for him to sit on it and immediately realize the handlebars were on backwards. The training wheels were also uneven, so it leaned like a sinking ship. My kid said, “It’s OK Dad, it's not your fault,” which hurt more than if he’d laughed. FML
Today, I was outside talking to my new neighbor. I was gesturing while talking and didn't notice the little kid riding her bike coming our way. I ended up accidentally smacking her in the face and knocking her off her bike. Apparently she's my new neighbor's daughter. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML
Today, I took my 15 year-old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
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Top comments
pexy_fml 16
I don't think she's gona let you teach her again
Mikeskinner 7
Dear god, don't worry OP! It was an accident and you both learned from it, don't worry! I'm sure you haven't scarred her! (:
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Comments (141)
ahippienamedrae 10
What kid in this generation even rides a bike anymore?
McAninch35 9
Shut up
KiddNYC1O 22
In some countries/places bikes are a major form of transportation.
ahippienamedrae 10
you shut up
Pandacupcakelove 26
I'm fourteen, I ride a bike, my friends ride bikes, every person I know rides a bike! So STFU -.-
EleanorJCalder 4
Awwwwww :(
Pandacupcakelove 26
Are you seriously posing as Eleanor on FML? wow.. -.-
Arile 5
Haha congratulations on almost killing ur daughter
subwaysurfers 13
Yeah, whenever I would scrape my knees my mom would call an ambulance because she was afraid I'd die. Right -__-
Papiamilli 1
Scarred....for life
KiwiiLemon 5
i don't thing she will be willing to learn to bike for a while now
ellytoad 13
Ow! Poor girl.
Enslaved 38
That must have been some big push! Lol My dad taught me by standing next to me and running along side. I was shocked when he let go without me knowing it. I fell 'cause I freaked out! But remembered I got back on! OP, I hope your daughter gets the courage to get right back on too. Maybe her older friends that also ride bike might help encourage her.(:
laurenlovesjb 20
Wow way to be pushy! You hold on and run with her then slowly let her gland she'll drift!
DocBastard 40
Slowly let her gland? I think Bieber has successfully stolen your brain.
laurenlovesjb 20
Sorry autocorrect I meant "go and" not "gland!" And actually I have a brain! I tied for first in the nationals for academic games for 2 years in a row! Not every JB fan is a bonehead!
bimonthly 4
hahahaha academic games. real genius over here...
laurenlovesjb 20
Ok you go to nationals and try to beat hundreds of other kids every year. It's really hard and anyone who's ever done it will agree. You memorize hundreds/thousands of facts and have to recall them in front of judges in less than 15 seconds, or the other person will beat you.
SongBiird 6
Aw good job there. Kids don't forget things like that. When you get old and are in a wheel chair in a nice elderly home, and she comes to pay you a visit and you two go on a wonderful stroll together, don't let her roll you up a hill.. She might just get revenge.
SS 31
'big push'? YDI!