Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML
Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
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Top comments
Gringo_fml 0
Not over you i hope =//
ellykhoshkele 0
ewwwwwwwwww u poor soul!!!! yuck!!
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Comments (97)
c_R_07 0
dude, don't say it's not his business and he shouldn't have looked...the guy shouldn't be jerking off in public to begin with, if he doesn't want to make it other people's business, then he shouldn't do it in public
Trini_Psycho 0
lmfao!!! #37 said write a haiku about it hahahahaha lmfao haaaaa omg ur crazy yo
holynemesis1208 3
its the subway, what doesn't happen on it?
lalalalovingit 0
That's dumb and illegal. You're probably one of those people who see crimes and do nothing about them..
checkitoutt 0
honestly, id be terrified to go on the train alone for the rest of my life. with that said, how did you respond to that?
foxfire730 0
ok. so i've never been on a subway, but to those who say "oh it happens. move on. blah blah blah." seriously...wtf? i would hope that masterbating in public isn't an "ok" thing to do. it's indescent exposure. that's the stuff that should be done in private. so yeah, if this happened to me i would say fml. so fyl for having to witness it.
devaraja42 0
Once a friend of mine was on a subway train that had to stop in the middle of nowhere for no apparent reason for about an hour. He was alone in the car with a couple. He was stuck watching a ******* for all that time.
Superman8_fml 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMAO #8 idk why but that's hilarious!
combattente 0
oh it's happened to us all that ride public transportation at some point (or in my case, multiple points)... you're grossed out for a few days and then you get over it!
jez35blue 0
That happened to me once... I ended up telling the policeman when we got off and he was arrested though... sorry :(