Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML
Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Gringo_fml 0
Not over you i hope =//
ellykhoshkele 0
ewwwwwwwwww u poor soul!!!! yuck!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (97)
TropicExpress 0
ummm this happens on nyc subways all the time... not really that FML... disgusting yes but not FML
Bauer_fml 0
Did you give him a hand? (This sounds familiar to a Dave Chappelle skit also.)
you_not_me_OWNED 0
dude, not on the train!
sim1 0
You should have written a haiku about it, and added it to your journal.
gossipgirl9889 0
OMG!!! that happened to me on the DC metro with one of my friends, the guy was sitting next to us and doing it AT us. we moved and he continued to stare. We sprinted off and switched lines lol. I feel for you, its pretty damn scarring.
DiSab 0
I've had it with these motherf***ing sperm on this motherf***ing train!!!!
LordLiam316 0
nice :)
joyride 0
Everything happens in subways.
th3wh1tee 0
This is actually not that uncommon and I can already tell none of live in New York lol.
zoe_fml 0
Are you in Chicago? what did the guy look like? my girlfriend and i have observed a man jacking off on the el several times... If its the same guy you should report it to the cta.
bigcrazymike 6
New York or San Francisco?