Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML
Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
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Top comments
Gringo_fml 0
Not over you i hope =//
ellykhoshkele 0
ewwwwwwwwww u poor soul!!!! yuck!!
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Comments (97)
Gringo_fml 0
#9, he deserved to see for having a peek at something that's not his business =]
sordanjymes 6
Are you for real?!?!
csigabajnok 0
Mom said "Never remove your headphones on the subway!" Respect that! :)
le_lauren 0
Hahahahahaha. That's all I have to say. #9, I know right? I always read these and wonder who the hell clicks those when there's clearly nothing they can do to prevent it.
sucks_for_you 0
people are so sick. who the hell is like "i think i'm gonna pull my dick out on the subway and jack off"?
xMarchofFlamesx 0
GROSS!!!
Mattyknows 0
To be honest #14; kudos to whoever does Massive Kudos. Balls of Steel.
bakingqt 0
thats sick. i agree with number 7!!!
Mr_Roboto 0
oh my god, for real : o?! YUCK -mr roboto
torero91 0
in the subway? really? what a badass
idrownfish 0
lmao
WarblingPixie 0
I'm going to assume that this man is no stranger to the indecent exposure law... :( Sorry to hear about that.