Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
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Top comments
JakeDR 0
Haha, your face must've been priceless. :P
IAreStarfeesh 0
Did he make a web in your asscrack?
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Comments (219)
Junkie910 0
how does this even happen? how did you not feel it?!?! You better hope it didn't lay eggs on you :S Get yourself checked out man.
blackarrow_fml 7
the way you wrote this makes it sound like you're afraid of your own genitals.
_vicky_luv 0
ahah it like he left the window open and people were lookin at him changing his underwear and screaming looking at his dick haha
candacemae88 0
Probably thought it was just another man itch . . . dug around scratched his "Junk" and killed it
kethery 0
doesn't this now prove you have nothing to be afraid of? seriously, grow a set
Mo0nMaN 0
don't be surprised later on Ur gonna be a mom of 30 spiders. congrats mommy!
bpruitt 0
spiders kick ass, they kill all the annoying disease spreading bugs
Degrastic 0
So you're deathly afraid of your genitals or the spider?
nic90xx 0
how did you not notice it was there before that? I would've noticed right away.
77taylah33 0
didn't you feel that? and you said all day didn't you go to the toilet through the day or something?
JayBear14 11
i would have died...