Surprise and Miscellaneous: Holy shit

Holy shit

By embarrassed - 04/01/2016 17:58 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, I was in church. During the prayer, I moved my foot and it pressed against the automatic button on my umbrella causing it to suddenly open. As if that wasn't bad enough, I screamed simultaneously at the shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 025

You deserved it 3 397

Surprise Miscellaneous

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Same thing different taste

By BlueMacaw - 25/07/2016 14:38 - United States - Edmond

Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 662

You deserved it 2 156

By minustoenail - 12/10/2012 05:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I entered a stairwell, the fire alarm went off, triggering the automatic fire doors to close. The one I was walking through ran over my foot, ripping my toenail, and then smacked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 512

You deserved it 1 998

By Anonymous - 30/05/2016 02:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was at church singing and my solo came up. As I walked through the crowd, this big woman caught the holy spirit and slapped the crap out of me. It was so hard, my fake tooth came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 269

You deserved it 1 437

By happyturtle - 10/10/2013 11:27 - Croatia

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 372

You deserved it 3 319

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 22:07 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 619

You deserved it 3 117

By Karen - 31/08/2009 14:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 877

You deserved it 4 824

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 795

You deserved it 134

By tracelee - 03/03/2009 09:22 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 518

You deserved it 13 234

By Littlethings1 - 31/03/2016 17:07 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, my hair got stuck in my umbrella. I asked for help from passers-by, but all I got was weird looks as they hurried past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 178

You deserved it 1 890

By HillaryAngelic - 22/07/2013 07:09 - United States - Flint

Today, after a church service, a man approached me as I was walking to my car. He had tears in his eyes and politely asked if I would pray with him. He asked if we could hold hands. As I reached out to hold his hands, the bitch snatched my purse and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 527

You deserved it 8 820

teentee401 36

Monday 4 January 2016 23:38

Did you at least scream "HOLY SHIT"?

HoboMeth 33

Monday 4 January 2016 23:39

Pray people don't get mad

Comments

teentee401 36

Monday 4 January 2016 23:38

Did you at least scream "HOLY SHIT"?

FitFriday 32

Wednesday 6 January 2016 10:35

Other options OP could've said, "Oh My God" or "Jesus" or "Holy cow".

HoboMeth 33

Monday 4 January 2016 23:39

Pray people don't get mad

tantanpanda 26

Tuesday 5 January 2016 18:27

Nah, they have to forgive.

Kevin_Kestel 24

Monday 4 January 2016 23:39

It's happened to me

ladyLALAA 28

Tuesday 5 January 2016 6:33

Doubtful

jake_braves 25

Monday 4 January 2016 23:40

I'm sorry OP, that's really embarrassing. But it's okay. They'll forgive you if they are true believers.

Shine242 17

Monday 4 January 2016 23:40

Omg I'm so sorry. But I actually laughed out loud. This is something that would happen to me.

MandieL 27

Tuesday 5 January 2016 9:15

I did too, and then I felt bad so I had to come see if others did too. Glad to see there are a few. I'm sure no one was mad OP, probably gave them a little chuckle. Try not to be embarrassed, shit happens.

MandieL 27

Tuesday 5 January 2016 9:17

My go to scream is "Jesus Christ". Don't know why, that's just what pops out of my mouth (I blame my grandma) so it could have been worse too OP.

Glynnis62 13

Monday 4 January 2016 23:42

I'm sorry that happened OP but that made me laugh...I'm so sorry xD

cacheson 41

Monday 4 January 2016 23:44

You should have played it off as a sign from God!

ThrottleJockey 35

Tuesday 5 January 2016 19:58

He certainly has a sense of humor.

sunsetium 14

Monday 4 January 2016 23:46

Maybe it was a sign telling you that going to church will bring bad luck! just kidding hehehe

Schmavid64 13

Monday 4 January 2016 23:53

Accidents happen. I'm sure no one minded too much.

Tripartita 44

Monday 4 January 2016 23:54

Normally you'd be right, but in a church, the open umbrella would act as a parabolic dish to hyper-focus the Holy Spirit. I go into expensive detail on this in my science x religion romfic.