Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
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Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
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Top comments
JakeDR 0
Haha, your face must've been priceless. :P
IAreStarfeesh 0
Did he make a web in your asscrack?
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Comments (219)
sarah48_fml 0
what's the problem? get over it. it's just a spider.
Bcaw 0
damn gurl u fine. wats ur numba?!
chloec16 0
nice and subtle there bud.
Mr_Zachary 0
19: Nobody can resist your proskills, I'm sure of it...
shawtieee 0
that was mean! think if it happenedto you! you wouldn't suck it up too!
Hump_Zilla 0
they do like dark, moist places
starile 19
Eeeww, the visuaaaalll!!
luis01 0
dude u need to change ur clothes more often to avoid what happen
desigirl2010 0
he said all day which means it was the same day. how many times do you change your clothes in a day? (besides changing into/out of your pjs, smartass)
shakethat 10
he didn't say he changed his underwear after wearing them all day. just that the spider was there all day. for all we know he had that same pair of underwear on for a few days and why is op just changing into fresh clothes instead of showering! maybe that's the problem here.
Bcaw 0
ydi for being a minority!
trumpet27 1
Wtf?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
redbluegreen 40
How peculiar. I didn't know the afterlife happened to be located in Germany.
MikeHawk13 0
LOL. Sorry I had to laugh.
Bishop181 0
HTFU Mate . . . .HTFU
WingsFan80 4
HTFU?
desigirl2010 0
hate to **** you.
Ruff_fml 3
I think it's harden the f*** up.
desigirl2010 0
well then. you toooollllld me dintnnt you. (I misspelled them for dramatic effect)
marylovesyou8D 7
hush the **** up?
starile 19
Hygiene the **** up! ... yeeah.
AAShah 0
LMFAO. YDI for not being able to realise that for the stretch of an entire day.
cody402 7
just shows how pathetic humans are. thousands of years ago u woulda grabbed the spider n ate it but now almost everyone is scared of a thing that u r a 100 times bigger than it.
francisw93 3
I take it that you are not Human since you can dis your own species.
siv97splat 0
i agree, but spiders still frighten some people--it's not as though we all don't have fears, and some people might have had past traumatic expierences with them
starile 19
Spiders look icky to some people. And some spiders have a poisonous bite!
chippa 24
Being afraid of creepy crawlies is a natural instinct, which some of us have too much of. "Back in the day," just as many people would have freaked out over them.
sedvus 0
all spiders are poisonous, some more so than others. At least he didn't "dance with himself", as Billy Idol puts it.
ferbi 13
actually, spiders used to be (millions of years ago) much bigger than they are now, about a meter long. and it is a natural response to be scared of something that can potentially kill you.
Tikwichka 5
If you are 'deathly afraid' of spiders, shouldn't you be dead now?