Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
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Top comments
JakeDR 0
Haha, your face must've been priceless. :P
IAreStarfeesh 0
Did he make a web in your asscrack?
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Comments (219)
DVecc 0
if they stayed in them that means you wear tight underwear therefore making you a ****** or a douche who likes to try an impress ladies by showing of your package
t_w_i_l_i_g_h_t 1
Spiders usually bite when they're trapped between skin and clothing, so you're actually pretty lucky.
iheartglasses 0
How in the hell did a spider get in there anyway? EW. Makes me feel like I should check for spiders lol Nope, no spiders! Assuming your a guy from the previous comments, wear boxer briefs in the correct size. From what I hear, guys like them cause they hug and feel comfy :)
l2spellbud 0
I'm afraid of spiders, **** ask my girlfriend. XD But this FML is epic. For everyone asking 'how didn't you feel it!!' Did he ever say it was alive? So that means it wasn't moving, so therefore he wouldn't of realized it. And do you take off your boxers to piss? No, I don't think so. Great FML!
5t3ff1k4h 44
wouldn't have*******
DaveTheBrave20 0
are you a dude or a chick?
allmidnighteyes 10
I think the username "dickwebs" implies that the OP is indeed of the female variety.
kiwigail 0
you're nasty. when was the last time you changed you're panties???
Tomatobee 4
"...changed *your* panties". Gosh. First we went from everyone using "your" instead of "you're", and now it's the other way around? What is this society coming to?!
macskapingvin 0
Well, you're lucky you aren't a girl. I imagine it would be a lot more disturbing for a girl to find a little squatter down there.
bman134 0
is there anything people from europe won't have sex with
beastmode_urface 0
you deathly afraid of your genitles?
malick95sumaira 0
Check again maybe there are some more left inside or the spider laid her eggs there so ull have a whole family of them...really NO JOKE