Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I was pissing in a bathroom and I tossed my empty energy drink can into the toilet for laughs. The unnecessarily powerful flush sucked it up where it got stuck and caused me to get sprayed with toilet water while I frantically tried to open the stall. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
jonjonguapito 15
I guess you pissed him off
chaseafterwind82 29
Should have pissed on the fly instead.
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Comments (95)
vikky538 29
You got ADHD... Thats all i can figure out from this FML
Lilkat39 5
You are a dumbass with no common sense whatsoever. You couldn't suck it up with the fly for the one minute you had to pee? You deserved to have your face caved in.
captainsmegma 12
I've heard of can't chew gum and walk but you can't piss and swat flies.
Krwman 8
Focus on the task at hand
Dinonick 15
He broke the an unspoken rule Dont use a urinal next to one already in use Unless you broke the rule in which case YDI x2
MandieL 27
Could be that there were only 2 urinals in the bathroom too.
Dean__Winchester 16
You think you got the wrong end of that? Because of your stupid stunt I now have to explain to my girl why I smell like piss and I doubt she'll believe someone decided to lose his grip on his willy!
Aly_donawho 27
F the other guys' life.
rockwrench 18
I would have been pissed off and smacked you if it was me. Besides flys buzzing around you, I'll bet you also saw stars when he busted your face.
Gansters12 8
I thought this was gonna end with you swatting his balls lol. It coulda been worse
zarrganaut 17
You're a terrible aim!