Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I was pissing in a bathroom and I tossed my empty energy drink can into the toilet for laughs. The unnecessarily powerful flush sucked it up where it got stuck and caused me to get sprayed with toilet water while I frantically tried to open the stall. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
jonjonguapito 15
I guess you pissed him off
chaseafterwind82 29
Should have pissed on the fly instead.
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Comments (95)
lukeDAduke157 11
Should have pissed on him after he punched you. That would've been hilarious. DISCLAIMER: Try at your own risk.
JayZen 6
Should have just shouted "Sword Fight!" And gone for the eyes!
thats_all_folks 10
I misread that I read "and than he busted in my face"
JayS421 10
even though it's your fault you should have fought back.
Utetopia2014 18
How long are you pissing for that you can't deal with a buzzing fly? You finish your piss, zip up and walk out, and leave the fly in the toilet. What the ****? You're a *******.
ariasmake1 9
OP you pissed on a guy, put yourself in his shoe. You deserve it!
YoursAlways98 13
Yikes. That sucks :(
williamcarter93 13
OK, granted, the OP should have been worrying about his stream rather than his fly, but am I the only one who thinks beating him in the face was uncalled for? It's not as if he made to pee on the other man on purpose. It's not like he just went in the bathroom, whipped it out, took aim at the other man and blasted him. he was trying to do something stupid and pee got everywhere. But it's not worth beating another human being over that.
BuckNekkid 22
better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Domonator 16
OP so totally deserved it. As part of a society, we do not and must not piss on each other FOR ANY REASON. Breaking this unwritten rule by spraying your fellow man with your warm liquid waste will result in immediate and unrestrained retaliation. This automatic response is how society protects itself from anarchy.