Kids: Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter...

By bodhimae - 03/05/2009 07:15 - France

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 084

You deserved it 2 372

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Same thing different taste

By lovedbyallthewrongppl - 28/11/2010 01:03 - United States

Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 137

You deserved it 13 622

By Bailey - 05/04/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 462

You deserved it 6 718

Coming through

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 18:00

Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 164

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 943

You deserved it 251 934

By icanthearyou - 04/04/2013 23:55 - United States - Rock Island

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 074

You deserved it 4 010

By Anonymous - 11/06/2012 11:18 - United States

Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 898

You deserved it 3 239

Sorry!

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 14:00

Today, my daughter has an ear infection and hasn’t slept more than 15 minutes a night for the last three days. Well tonight she was finally asleep, but I needed to take my own tablets. I had a violent coughing fit while choking on them, and woke her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 100

What's up doc?

By fml - 29/07/2012 12:20 - Japan - Koshigaya

Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 675

You deserved it 5 849

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 555

You deserved it 3 440

Have a baby they said, it'll be fun they said

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 066

You deserved it 3 944

Sourcow 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 17:59

She's gonna make a great mom :)

Some___Guy 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 22:48

The last sentence is great!

Comments

HeyThereGorgeous 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 4:33

Omggggg! That's fricken hilarious but totally painful. Tell your daughter next time that "daddys ears can be dirty a while"

Luneth101 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 5:20

#7, shut up, you're gay and probably retarded. #8, seriously? You always think about sentences that way? OP, that's not how you use proceeded. Sorry about your ear.

MissIndependent2_fml 0

Saturday 29 May 2010 15:08

Er, actually, yes it is.

Shallow_Padentic 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 7:43

Proceeded alert ugh

nirvan5a 1

Tuesday 14 July 2009 4:48

damn...

shnibz101 0

Monday 27 July 2009 7:55

#10 I don't think any one really cares LOL

akshar 0

Monday 17 August 2009 6:03

Maybe it was payback for any time u stuck a q-tip in her ear.

USMC_Marine01 9

Sunday 23 August 2009 20:53

damn dude that sucks

_20jre 0

Wednesday 7 October 2009 7:04

#10 SHUT THE **** UP, YOU IGNORANT BASTARD, NO ONE CARES

jzombiemom 0

Monday 11 January 2010 4:00

That is freakin HILARIOUS! She's an hygienically OC ninja! Till you get your hearing back you should make her wear a bell, lol.

Skimbap 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 20:39

haha, are you serious? dude, u should realize that if ur cause is so useless, and no one cares enough that you need to post on fml u should probably just give up