PAR-TAY

Today, I had a going-away party because I am leaving the country forever. Out of the 130 people invited, 60 were a resounding, "Yes! Of course I will come!" After paying $300 for everything needed at the party, two ended up coming. And left because nobody else was there. FML

Today, I had my leaving party after work to celebrate getting a new job. 3 people turned up. I'd invited 35. FML

Bye!

Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML

Today, I got an invitation to the "Going away lunch" the company is throwing for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

Today, my friends decided to throw a going away party because I'm moving. It would have been great if I had actually been invited. FML

Today, my boss left a lovely invitation to her wedding on my desk. I plan on resigning during our meeting later today. FML

Goodbye

Today, my coworkers threw me a going away lunch, since I’m moving on to a better opportunity. Nothing reminds you why you’re leaving like being the last person to your own party, and picking over the minuscule amount of food scraps that are left. FML

Today, I spent an hour writing 80 thank you cards to everyone who attended my graduationg party. After carefully personalizing each one and sealing them shut, I realized I did not mark the envelopes with names. FML

Alexa, play "Both Sides Now" by Joni Mitchell

Today, one of my best friends and I both got mail. She got her wedding invites to send out; I got my divorce papers. FML

Party hard

Today, I sent out a note to 300 friends saying that I'm having a birthday party in a couple of weeks. I asked to please write back if they are interested in coming. Two people replied. They said they can't make it. FML