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By Meh - / Saturday 18 July 2009 15:51 / United States
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By  jjenniferr05  |  0

What the fuck is wrong with people?! Way to put the poor woman down even further, seriously. A woman does put on weight, not have her old looks as she gets older.. True love is about loving someone, for who they are. And truly, if he really had a problem, then he should have sat her down and sensitively talked about how he felt she wasn't doing herself justice. You don't even know that she's put on weight, or that she's let herself go, He could just be being a dick! The people on here sometimes make me so angry. No one should ever be talked to like that - 'I forgot you looked like that' - that's downright outrageous! She's probably had kids, and kept the weight from it, Or perhaps she has a few wrinkles cause she doesn't have botox. Honest to god. People are so obsessed with looks these days - they do matter, but if you love someone, you love them no matter what.

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  wow18  |  3

Well if she let her self go after marriage then she totally deserved it. He shouldn't have to have sex with some woman he's not attracted to. In this case it does seem like she did let herself go because she said her sex life is lacking, meaning it used to be better, meaning her husband had no problem banging her before, which means she used to look better.

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  Puolukka  |  4

I would like to think that people who are getting married have a better reason to do so than just physical and sexual attraction. Even if she did let herself go a little bit, he could have just sat her down and talked to her about it instead of insulting her like he did. What he said to her and the way he said it is incredibly rude. That's like the FML about that one guy who wanted to divorce his wife because she wouldn't have sex with him right after she had given birth...so ridiculous. OP: Definitely tell your husband how his comment offended him and ask him what it is about you that apparently is so horrible in his eyes...it may be an easy fix.

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  kpanchal  |  0

Maybe you should have stayed in shape, if not for him then for yourself. Hate it as much as you will, appearances do matter. No one wants to bang a bean bag chair, if you catch my drift. No matter what anyone says, if you're not even trying to make an effort to be attractive, then you don't have any room to complain of your husband not having and sex drive...

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  jjenniferr05  |  0

What the fuck is wrong with people?! Way to put the poor woman down even further, seriously. A woman does put on weight, not have her old looks as she gets older.. True love is about loving someone, for who they are. And truly, if he really had a problem, then he should have sat her down and sensitively talked about how he felt she wasn't doing herself justice. You don't even know that she's put on weight, or that she's let herself go, He could just be being a dick! The people on here sometimes make me so angry. No one should ever be talked to like that - 'I forgot you looked like that' - that's downright outrageous! She's probably had kids, and kept the weight from it, Or perhaps she has a few wrinkles cause she doesn't have botox. Honest to god. People are so obsessed with looks these days - they do matter, but if you love someone, you love them no matter what.

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  Suffertree  |  0

YDI for getting fat. Poor guy. And listen to all these tree-huggers. "Oh, marriage is about pure love between two soul mates, from the heart!". I'm sure the guy loves her. Sex doesn't have anything to do with your heart. If the bitch gets fat, it's her fault. Lose some weight.

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  Suffertree  |  0

And you know what else? Why don't all you fucking hypocrit women saying how pathetic this guy is take a look at the rest of the FML's. Yeah, scroll down, there's one of a woman making fun of a kid for a brain surgery scar. The same exact idiots who say "Oh I hate people like this", THEY ALLLLLLL go places, see fat people, ugly people, disfigured people, mentally handicapped people, AND YOU ALL FUCKING say shit to your friends, laugh at them, and THEN YOUR PATHETIC ASSES come on here, say "Oh people like this are distgusting, rude, and they're just asses". So the next time you think "Oh my gawd, I would never date that guy", why don't you remember how you come on the Internet and act like heroes that hate prejudice? Why don't you take a minute to think? Would YOU have sex with a fat, hairy, man or woman? All you pathetic stuck up rich bitches. Two faced. Fucking pathetic.

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  OWNTPWNT  |  0

Dude seriously!?!?! Cmon even though you probably see the world with rose colored glasses it doesn't work that way. Even though it would be better if the world was like that, it's not.

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  dvs01  |  0

Unconditional love is foolish. It puts the unconditional lover at a big disadvantage. Who the hell came up with the idea of blind dedication being a good thing? They must've been a virgin or something.

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  PencilTips  |  18

#21, you do know that mature love is not fully based on sexual attraction, right? Old couples feel close and attached, they dont care about the physical imperfections and flaws of their lover, they mostly only look for the love and affection they feel towards eachother.

By  divineinstrument  |  2

Aw, I was almost first. I wanted to post "First!" and annoy everyone here... oh well @OP: lol married life's never the way you picture it

By  jandersoniii  |  0

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  thejoz  |  0

#4 you're a fucking retard, why don't you go back to the barn and bang your sister sometime. This is definitely a FYL, because frankly, even if married life isn't all peaches and cream, all the time, your husband is an ass for doing that. The least he could have done was told a white lie about needing to get back to work and he couldn't get it on with you then. But to outright say he wasn't interested because apparently you don't live up to some standard? What a dick.

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  genius_man16  |  0

Obvious troll is obvious. #6 is an idiot. Also, If your sex life is that important to you OP you might consider divorce. Sex is a big part of marriage, and feeling close to the one who you're spending all your days with is kind of a big deal, and if he doesn't want any part of that and/or feels closer to his job than you, then just drop him.

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  nomadxx7  |  0

OMG. I didn't know Janderson the troll was back. I looked forward to a lot of those, Men are the root of all evil and enslave women. If men didn't rule the world then there would be 1 trillion more women in this world and all the sexist, bigotted retarded he/she makes on this site. At first I thought the bridge collapsed that housed this troll but it seems I was wrong. Glad to see that trolls are like cockroachs and will outlive the rest of us.

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  Ox_Baker  |  0

#6 = pwned The problem isn't WIVES letting themselves get fat; the problem is PEOPLE let themselves get fat. People act like not being morbidly obese is impossible, and that eating like a normal human being is impossible.

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  Dante167  |  0

I seriously think Jandersoniiis account got hacked or something, because she went from being a crazy ass feminist with crackpot theories/statistics to sounding like some retarded frat boy trying to be funny and saying women should only be cooking, cleaning, and SD.

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  razzumfrazzum  |  0

Janderson WOOT! WOOT! Y not the usual women empowerment remarks though? This makes me upside down face :( @OP: Ha ha, maybe you should go back to the lights off thing. Clearly, your nude body isn't pleasing to the eye. Not saying that his is that of Adonis, but still......there's a reason why the lights are out. To everyone saying he doesn't love her and she's the only one trying. Ever think that he truly cares about everything about her except sex? The simple fact that they have to plan it should be an indicator. Or maybe his compromise was the lights out thing, and her deviating from that made him remember why they started that in the first place. Just putting that out there.

By  selenes  |  0

I hate when people say "Meh,". YDI for being fat. Go exercise.

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  selenes  |  0

Well why the hell else would her husband say, "I forgot what you looked like.. Nevermind!" If she had a nice body he wouldn't pass up the sex. I hate how wives these days let themselves get fat, ugly and flabby and then when their husband doesn't want to sleep with them/cheats on them, they complain. WTF. Go make yourself look sexy.

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  Casualt1234  |  0

lol that was pretty extensive trolling right there #13. most trolls try to keep it to one sentence, but you showed them who's boss.

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  selenes  |  0

You're incredibly intelligent. It must have taken you, what? Ten minutes to come up with that response.. And hells to the yeah, I did.

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  wow18  |  3

If you let yourself go and get fat that means you have no respect for yourself, so why should anyone else give you any respect.

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  selenes  |  0

#19, I'm not a man. But if women expect men to "want" them, stay in shape! Just like women want their husbands to stay in shape, they need to do the same. It isn't that hard, either, to watch your weight. #22, where do you get that I "hate women". I'm a woman. I'm just tired of people getting out of shape and expecting their husband to be over enthusiastic to jump in the sack with them. If you looked good before you were married, keep in shape. No one wants a fat lump.. I've seen it done before, too. It's possible. Let yourself go and you get what you get. Wanna look like a fat slob? Well you're not going to attract your husband. It's simple logic. Stop acting like because I see fat, young married women and I get disgusted, that I'm suddenly a misogynist.

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  theanonimouse  |  0

okay, my bad. maybe you're not misogynist, just someone with real weight issues. honestly, you get disgusted by people who are overweight? and we have no idea that the husband here isn't a "fat slob" as well, do we?

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  nomadxx7  |  0

To everyone saying that she didn't let herself go or whatnot, let's put it this way. Men are visual creatures. We like boobs, butts, curves, etc. Some people are BBW lovers, others like athletic builds. Now if her husband doesn't want to have sex with her either a) he's got a girl on the side, b) she let herself go, c) the spark is gone for another reason. It's hard figuring out which is the right answer but like it's been stated, men are visual creatures and if the wife let herself go then that's probably the reason they have sex in the dark and he didn't want to have sex now since he's seen her in teh light. Not saying it's right but that seems to be the way the situation was.

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  colourmealy  |  0

How do you know the OP let herself go? not all married women 'let themselves go'. Yes i agree that most women start to loose their body and shape, but alot has to do with: having children, their metabolism, menopause, and aging. So please, don't be so quick to assume that women decide to loose themselves because they dont care, because infact all these women do care and it is nearly impossible to get back in shape after you have experienced one or more of the experiences i mentioned above. Also, your a women. You should be able to understand these things before you make n ignorant comment like you did.

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  ManImCool  |  0

amen brother, YDI because she needs to lay off the donuts

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  selenes  |  0

#32 - Yes, I get disgusted by overweight obese people. I'm not obese, so it's easy for me not to. I'm guessing you're offended because you're overweight? Go on a diet then, work your ass off. Once again, I HAVE SEEN IT DONE. #36 - I should be able to understand? My Mother had children. I have had a child a year ago. A few weeks after I spent most of my free time working out (when I wasn't attending to my baby) And I got my pre-baby shape right back. My husband was not complaining about my post-baby body but I hated the feeling of even slight lovehandles. So I got my shape back. When my mother had four children, she bounced back to her old weight by exercising whenever she could. I've learned from the best, I know. (:

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  theanonimouse  |  0

I'm sorry, selenes, but not all people feel the need to define themselves by their weight. I know this may surprise you, but some overweight people are actually (get this) happy with themselves, and don't feel like they have to spend "most of their free time" working out because, you know, they have other things to do. Strange concept, huh? (also: i'm 5'6" and 120 lbs. not overweight by any stretch of the imagination, but i'm definitely not disgusted by people who are, seeing as i don't think a little extra fat makes someone unworthy of my respecting them as a human being.)

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  Cinnabar  |  0

Wow Selenes, just wait until time turns you into a sagging, wrinkly old harpy. If you're willing to accept a man into your life who plans to renege on his wedding vows just because his wife no longer suits his ideal image, you're in for a fun (and well-deserved) surprise.

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  paperfox_fml  |  0

Selenes, children learn by example. Please grow the fuck up already before you inadvertently raise the next generation to be bitchy, insecure, image-obsessed stick insects. (and no honey, before you try to use it as justification to declare my views invalid, I'm not fat)

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  allysonrigby  |  4

Okay so you worked out? Congrats for being able to do that. Considering I can't. Just a note for later in life: Don't judge others by your own standards for yourself? =) Okay? It doesn't work.

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Oh my gosh, we need more people like you in the USA!! I'm serious as well.. I really wish a lot of people would care about their weight, but they can't stop eating fast food....it's sad because it's mostly their fault.... and their not doing anything to stop it! =/

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  drkwlf  |  0

Psh, I'm on Selenes side. Stop being obese bitches. I had two kids(and am 22) and .. okay I didn't have to work out because my body is weird like that and just went back to normal(5'6", 118lbs), but I sure as fuck would have worked out if I hadn't. In fact, I'm working out as to GAIN weight(which seems a lot harder :( ). But really, I see where she's coming from so why don't you all shut the fuck up because you, most likely, ARE fat and have no motivation.

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  theanonimouse  |  0

ok, so anyone who is overweight has "no motivation"? it astounds me how ignorant some people are. as i've stated before, there are actually people out there who are overweight and happy with their lives. you don't have to base your self-worth on what the scale tells you, despite what the TV says. and it's pretty immature to assume that all the people who disagree with you are just "obese bitches." oh, because there's something so bitchy about accepting people for who they are, not judging them by their appearance alone, etc? again, i'm 5'6", 120 lbs, and i don't assume anyone with a bit of extra weight is just some unmotivated slob. but obviously i must just be completely retarded.

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  drkwlf  |  0

No, being a healthy weight is something that everyone should WANT to be, thank you. Sure people can be fat and happy, it still doesn't mean it's -healthy.- And I don't blame her husband, if she's gained weight, to not want to fuck her. She should take care of herself, thanks. I don't care how in love you are, love isn't going to make your sex life any better if you're not attracted to the other person. And sex is a big deal.

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  theanonimouse  |  0

yes, there is such thing as being overweight and being healthy. there's also such thing as being "normal" weight and being UNhealthy. it has to do with heart health, exercise, right nutrition, etc. it's a lot more than how much you weigh. and who are we to judge someone on what they choose to do with their own bodies, even if it is unhealthy? it doesn't affect you, get over it.

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  HumansSuck  |  0

You can look fat and still be a healthy weight. People who are disgusted by overweight people are the ones who disgust me. I think it's disgusting to be disgusted by someone because of minor flaws in their appearance. I mean, sure, if someone was missing an eye and didn't put a patch over that shit, I'd be disgusted by their appearance. However, I wouldn't be disgusted by the actual person, just their appearance. And really, you spent all your freetime working out? Working out that much can actually be unhealthy. Also, you could be doing something better with your freetime. You could be reading a book about how people who are overly judgmental on appearance are ruining our society by giving young girls the impression that they should have low self worth if they are not underweight. For the record, I'm not fat. Women who feel the need to judge another woman's weight like you have done make me sick.

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  Dante167  |  0

To Theanonimouse: I have to agree with Selenes partially. Honestly if my girlfriend were to let herself go and become really unattractive, sex wouldn't seem as appealing, I would still love her, but I wouldnt have the desire to get in the sack as often. I'm not saying girls have to be twigs like the models displayed on TV where you can see their ribs, but I think if its to make a compromise with their husband/boyfriends, girls should try to stay in shape, as well as the guys. Relationships are based off of communication and compromise, although I may not agree with how the OPs husband commented on her physique, he is entitled to his opinion. You shouldn't criticize him because hes a bit repulsed by his wifes huskier build, it doesn't mean he doesn't love her anymore, sex just doesn't appeal to him as much anymore. To the people who think its despicable for a person to be repulsed by overweight people: Everyone has their own preference, not everyone is going to be attracted to overweight women/men. BUT thats no reason to prejudge someone and automatically label them because they could be great people.

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  theanonimouse  |  0

i understand if he isn't sexually attracted to her anymore. he has every right to feel that way. however, he does not have the right to put her down and make such negative comments. i agree with your statement that "relationships are based off of communication and compromise," and think the OP's husband could def use some pointers on this. a better way to let your wife know you are no longer attracted to her due to weight gain would be suggesting going for a walk together, making healthier meals together, asking her to join the gym with you, etc, instead of just making some nasty, hurtful comment while she's sprawled out there naked. i mean, that was a pretty low blow. as far as i'm concerned, if you loved someone, you wouldn't do something like that.

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  Dante167  |  0

I agree that his comment was a bit innappropriate, but I don't think he meant for his comment to be as negative as it came out. Sometimes us guys speak before thinking and can say something that can be conceived as hurtful unintentionally, but he may have intentionally said it to be offensive because hes an ass, who knows :D. But from what Im getting out of reading this FML is that her husband tried to get past her physical appearance and still have a sex life by doing it in the dark, so I think he may be genuinely trying to make it work.

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  drkwlf  |  0

I like, for the most part, how Dante put it(perhaps in a little more unrude way then me (; ). But yeah, I find fat people very unattractive. I think they should do something about it. It doesnt mean I don't have fat friends (:

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  enigmaticart  |  0

drwklf, How can you throw out the general accusation that all overweight people have no motivation when you yourself assert that you don't work out because you "don't have to." Exercise should be a part of a balanced, healthy lifestyle that helps you maintain your physical fitness; which, in turn, aides you in other aspects of your life. Exercise is not something that people are required to do so that they can fit into size 0 and 00 jeans. Often, people who are on the higher end of a healthy weight according to bmi (which is, by the way, a 200 year old calculation designed to provide general data for a census and is, therefore, not a reliable means of measuring one's health); anyhow, there are people at the higher end of a healthy weight or even slightly overweight who could run circles around a thin person who doesn't exercise. Which of these sounds healthier? Also, many thin people have very high body fat and very little muscle. Additionally, to surmise that the people who have commented before in defense of the OP are overweight simply because they are open-minded enough to sympathize with someone in a position that they may not have ever been in is extremely ignorant. Our society places far too much emphasis on the superficial. Assuming that the OP is overweight, the concerns should be for her health and not for her appearance. The first thought her self-involved husband has shouldn't be regarding how bad she looks, but instead what he can do to help her lead a healthier lifestyle. Of course, we don't know that he isn't himself overweight and merely holds a double standard. Many of the intolerant, uninformed, and just simply hurtful people here are great examples of why sometimes an informative book may do a person more good than the latest trendy diet.

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  Whatever80  |  0

OKay I Have A Question For You #5 Lets Say You Like This Guy Alottt ! But He Is OverWeight Is That Going To Stop You From Dating Just Cause He Is Fat Or Are You Going To Go Out With Him Because Of HIs Personality ?

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  suprmidgt  |  0

nobody said barbie but when all the wrong things are jigglin' not good, not a turn on. men are visual which is something women often times forget or just don't care enough about. it's not an insult to not be turned on by fat, just like it's understandable for women to be turned off by men who don't do for them what turns them on.

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  kristalynn  |  0

To all the judgemental people on here that don't like fat people: I am a bigger girl. But I consider myself beautiful in EVERY way. I have NO self-esteem issues, no problem with the way I look, and i'm not big because I let myself go. I'm big because of thyroid issues. So DO NOT assume that all big people are big because "they let themselves go." that's pure bull $h!t. i love how I am no matter how much I weigh... Not to metion, I have a wonderful fiancé who loves me just the way I am. he sees me naked and thinks the world of all of me. he thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. it's not about weight, it's about the connection you have with your significant other. even if she is big, or skinny and she never let hereself go, if they lose the connection with each other, the guy would say that reguardless of what she looks like. so stop letting the media brainwash your insignificant little minds about large people. because I'm fine just the way I am, and if you have a problem with it, I'll gladly let you kiss my ass. thanks.

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Fast food is half the problem. All processed foods are directly linked to poor health, and when the average american sits for 7hrs a day...well theres your problem. Thats not even going into sugary drinks etc.

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  yaoieclipse  |  3

I get disgusted watching thin people, and then i mean the ones that looks like sticks. I prefer a woman or man that looks healthy, also, brain over body. Whats fun with an airhead with boobs? And no, im not fat.

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  JTHomer  |  13

This could be random rambling, as i have insomnia and narcolepsy and hardly sleep, and its 3:11 am...but whatever! On with the essay! Ok SO, now that we're done debating, im going to TRY and speak on behalf of more then myself. Dangerous, I know. Im a grade 11 male, so im in the middle of that whole "rush of testosterone" thing. And Im going to be honest. I have zero attraction to fat girls, and 99% of guys ive met wouldnt touch one with a ten foot pole. But thats not because of "how society sets standards" its because of how things appeal to the human race as they have for generations. Things have changed in history such as how nowadays girls want that tanned, Cali kinda look, yet a century ago they wanted that pale, casper look as it was a sign of wealth and beauty and high standing. However one thing is similar in that. Average weight. How many paintings do you see of larger ladies vs. slender (not stick thin) women, with curves in the preferred areas? Not many. What's similar here? Slender. Hell, go back to the Egyptian era and look at heiroglyphics. Any large ladies? Cause I've never seen any. So dont blame it on society, its instinct. Instinct is a pain in the ass but its humanity and that's forever. As for (I believe it was Selene) who said they're disgusted by fat people, i find it slightly naīve and lacking a certain maturity, however its not to be blamed on either party. Selene reserves the right to feel however they must while viewing such larger lady as much as the larger lady to be in such physical state. Personally, I've gotten past it like a child in Africa might get past suffering. After seeing it your whole life, you accept it. However some people just can't do that. You can't tell Selene what not to feel, just like you tell Selene not to tell fat people to basically not be fat. Now for what I believe on this. I believe that due to the lack of light in OP's sexy times, and her husband clearly mentioning she lacked visual appeal, OP is overweight. He may have married her overweight. If so, maybe he hoped she would lose some weight, maybe she was under stress at the time and had suddenly gained weight and he expected it to disappear, maybe she had a health issue and he expected her to lose it. Or maybe she was thin and then "let herself go", and he simply is no longer attracted to her. Or maybe he was scarred in a horrific fire, or was in an accident, or has some sort of large facial birthmark....(the point of the sentence is to make you all realize you've skipped over about, hmmm idfk, maybe infinite OTHER possibilities and to make you realize to assume makes an ass of u and me. Technically, unless OP wrote about every detail about her physical appearance and every detail of her relationship, possible things her husband could have meant, + her husbands side, we really can't come to a conclusion of this stupid ass argument between people being ignorant and people being rude about ignorancy. Ignorancy is bliss, so don't spoil it for them. We all wish we had it. Just chilllll, and be grateful you're breathing and have every opportunity to change your life in SOME way for the better, every, single, day. I hope that wasn't too much pointless nonsense! Im exhausted! Cheers!

By  cpatrick820  |  3

Well that's a fucked up thing to say. Still, way too many people in committed relationships let themselves go because they get too comfortable. I don't know how you look, but remember, you should maintain good physical health if only for your own self respect. Still, no excuse. The guy's a prick.

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