Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML
Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML
Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML
Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML
Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
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Top comments
Random_Person88 8
i spent like 5 mins trying to come up with a response to this but i just couldn't.
iAmScrubs 19
"Well, let me tell you one thing young one. The first thing I check for is if the poop is a healthy shade of green. Then I put my hand in it to check if it is the right texture. The last thing I do is waft the smell towards me. It should smell like a combination between sulphuric acid and orange juice."
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Comments (113)
Gloritank 8
So fyl cause your grandma was making sure your great grandma's body was taking in nutrients like it should? Learn to step up and care about family problems. If your the oldest child they'll be yours someday.
TodaySuxx 7
Im pretty sure his life sucks because he had to endure that story not because his grandma was taking care of his great grandma's body.
Friaza 29
Idiot, you think your family would want you looking through there shit literally? there's a little thing called milk that helps with calcium. Stop turning FML's into little drama soaps.
foilindo 0
did anybody else found themselves picturing that for a second?! lol. faaaaaaaaail.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
More like FHL.
darlingdollie 24
who can talk about that for an hour? sounds a little over-exaggerated.
HexRay 0
Their grandma didn't talk about it for an hour, OP was stuck there for an hour.
jazzybaby179 22
hahaha **** her life!!
dani212 0
EW EW EW EW EW!!!!!
Midnight12 0
now that's love.
RuCheezBurger 10
So since there's literally no joke I can make, SHE TOOK IT OUT OF THE TOILET?! (Or did she just look at it?????) ;0
iAintEvenMad 0
Cool story bro.
BeerWhore 4
Old people are funny!