Love: Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound....

By Anonymous - 01/02/2011 13:43 - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 143

You deserved it 5 328

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Same thing different taste

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 236

Single shot

By irulan - 14/01/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 535

You deserved it 596

Flatulophobia

By Anonymous - 18/12/2021 07:01 - United States - Watford City

Today, while in bed with my husband, we were discussing our fears. Mine being the Doomsday Clock. He giggled and made me feel silly about my (rational if you ask me) fear. I let out a tiny toot, and he jumped and screamed bloody murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 213

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 15:50 - United States

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 527

You deserved it 9 405

By sleepylillion - 25/04/2016 05:07 - United States - Eleele

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 230

You deserved it 1 534

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 104

You deserved it 41 480

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 962

You deserved it 12 958

By embarrassed2 - 24/01/2011 02:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 955

You deserved it 4 788

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 962

You deserved it 276

By fartz - 31/08/2013 06:04 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 516

You deserved it 8 099

Frickmetinajenks 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:03

Lol, get used to it. It won't be as funny a couple years into marriage.

TheB0a 5

Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:22

The giggles is what makes this funny. Who giggles after supposedly ******** their pants, lolZ.

Comments

Adailin 0

Monday 21 February 2011 17:01

this sounds like it just came out of family guy lmao ! I would of gone him n said I "maybe" farted in your face...

kaystarz32 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 8:47

ew. gross.

daaron 3

Wednesday 23 March 2011 5:53

haha lol fat bastard classic give the guy props for doing that

mzled24 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 2:20

wait that's actually reeeaallly funny!

massnerder420 4

Wednesday 20 April 2011 0:47

I LMAO-ed.

bkpost36 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 5:41

bahahahahahahahaha

callmesillyxxx 1

Tuesday 3 May 2011 7:36

lmao

Talestair 0

Monday 16 May 2011 4:01

Sometimes the embarrassment of buying adult diapers isn't so embarrassing as forgetting to.

coco_puffs09 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 7:17

lol Love it.

AwwwwYeeaaahhh 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 17:24

Is your husband, by any chance, Peter Griffin?

Keywords

Relatable Students Work Mental health Parenting Kids Embarrassing Love Awkward Family Wanker Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Weddings Public freakouts Bodyshaming Cops Transportation Cars Sex Sexism Health Growing old Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, despite the fact that we are well off and desperate to be parents, my sister refuses to let us adopt her unborn baby, and intends to “raise him on her own.” We earn twice what she does and have been trying to conceive or adopt for 7 years, and she doesn’t even have a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 2 165

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 182

You deserved it 7 311

The Top

Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 799

You deserved it 2 934

Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 193

Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 005

You deserved it 64 022

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 302

You deserved it 4 177

Today, I sat my end of year assessment. I was quite pleased that nothing I learned in my syllabus came up on the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 93

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 199

You deserved it 12 747

Same thing different taste

Rude awakening

Single shot

Flatulophobia

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