Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML
Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
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Top comments
bigbadtim 7
I bet that strained your relationship.
catnip216 0
Hey, he grabbed the first thing he saw that looked like a bowl, then actually took it into the bathroom *while* you were having diarrhea. He may not be the brightest guy in the world, but he tried. You puked in it, afterall, so you didn't notice at first either.
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Comments (189)
catnip216 0
Hey, he grabbed the first thing he saw that looked like a bowl, then actually took it into the bathroom *while* you were having diarrhea. He may not be the brightest guy in the world, but he tried. You puked in it, afterall, so you didn't notice at first either.
DontModMeDammit 10
exactly what I was thinking.
sterlingarcher 1
13.. I agree
chadcat 1
I thought this too. -.-
ThePiratePrince 0
that is true
SpectSelf 0
your boyfriend is a moron. I'm not surprised. thats what most of you women like anyways.
Erindub 0
So you AND your boyfriend are both blind.
ydur 0
I have to agree..u both deserve each other for BOTH of u not noticing. how is that even possible
raeka 1
ok, I shall rephrase... you TOTALLY deserve it for not noticing the holes...
RoughRiders 4
girls don't poop
T3P33_fml 0
they do, but they poop nutella.
alex1432 9
they're waste is turned into unnecessary emotions
HeavyMetalViking 0
I agree that their waste is turned into emotions but I'm not sure about what they're wasting though.
hhvamp3 0
haha yeah we do.
CxiiBunneh 0
Um yes they do moron
Airborn0280 18
lol, you made my night:)
klong91 7
What an idiot.
Zomg_Okay 27
Well, you didn't exactly notice right away either...
bluemoongirl 4
when your puking there is no time to think, it jus comes out! duh!
minktheshrink 0
I shall agree with the others. YDI for not noticing yourself as well as dating a guy who A) doesn't care B) is a moron [or] C) doesn't pay enough attention. Find yourself a man who will actually find a bowl or be happy that at least he tried to help at all. I'd say 70-90% of males on FML wouldn't set down a Xbox controller long enough to help.
similies06 0
dude shut up. your pretentious ass sounds stupid when you talk. he most likely didn't pay attention because his girlfriend was sick and was going to get sick everywhere, so he probably grabbed the first thing that was bowl like and rushed to the bathroom to help out. you know everything tho, right? because you're perfect and know exactly how everything would play out for you in times of pressure.
minktheshrink 0
I will ignore your poor capitalization and abbreviation of "though" and get straight to the point. I know that it would only take me about 3 steps to realize it was a strainer and then I'd probably grab something else. Also, maybe it is just me, but there was the slightest bit of sarcasm in my comment. Maybe you should take time to consider what people have to say, rather than spouting drivel insults like the pompous bastard you are.
EMOx3 0
Agreed .
wasup21 0
I thought about repling to this earlier but I was to busy playing black ops
DRock525 0
I think you can take the amount of negative votes as verification that your first comment did sound douchey! if you didn't realize it, it only proves your Ineptness to not only your thoughts but also to your inability to reread what you just wrote, and go you know that makes me sound pompous and self promoting.
minktheshrink 0
I honestly don't know what you are trying to say here. I have read your comment like 5 times and still feel like words are missing...
Predental 5
How did you not notice the holes in the bowl? Just as dumb as your bf.
notbanned69 0
Why didn't you notice? Your face was right there? And who the hell pukes in bowls? That's disgusting and wouldn't even stay in the bowl.
IbanezSprinter 0
she was on the toilet, a bowl is logical enough, I don't think she means a bowl that you eat out of stupid most likely a big bowl for cooking in. You know?