Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML
Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
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Top comments
bigbadtim 7
I bet that strained your relationship.
catnip216 0
Hey, he grabbed the first thing he saw that looked like a bowl, then actually took it into the bathroom *while* you were having diarrhea. He may not be the brightest guy in the world, but he tried. You puked in it, afterall, so you didn't notice at first either.
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Comments (189)
shift_love 13
that's ******* gross. why don't you have a trash can next to to your toilet?
sterlingarcher 1
omg old Greg.. ftw!! :D
WallyTheWombat 0
Shit is creepy. Kinda reminds me of salad fingers.
YoshApathy 6
it's the thought that counts ha
ShreddedPecker 2
Is he just a dumb sumbish, or is he thrifty by wanting to save the meatballs?
SnailJamsss 6
What a dumb ass.
Lulu714 0
Ew, some people are saying some really nasty things on here. FYL OP.
aardvarkish 17
At this point, I think straining his **** is in order.
perdix 31
A strainer? That's dumb. He clearly should have given you the sound of his footsteps running away from the volcano of shit and puke.
thatkid1 0
way to go dumbass! bahahah
imnotcraZ 0
let me guess his natural hair color!
dgr8ing 0
the expression blind comes from dying the hair which kills brain cells dumb ass
amandanau 0
you have a nice enough boyfriend to try and help.